Fireworks by Jack Cade

Thanks for the kind comment, Rigmarole. What was my one about smoking? I've forgotten!

Loved this poem - http://www.abctales.com/node/546184 did you write this for poetry editors Jon? Or is this an authentic? It's good, either way. The opening seven lines are perfectly observed. Not sure about the self-referential moment, it feels a bit easy. I love the terrorist bit though; only problem for me is that it kind of overpowers the cats/dogs detail, perhaps it could come before the "terrorist" question is asked? The ending is not quite right in my opinion. For me the problem might be "twinklyblam" - I'm sure you could think of a less predictable final word (or maybe one that sounds like a firework? "wheeeeblap" or something, because bababa and swoosh are great. And I'm not totally convinced it wouldn't benefit from stanzas? Defend your form, sir! This is a great poem. How was the gig? Joe

Gig was good, apparently. Sounded rubbish to me because they had no monitors, but third parties said it sounded great. Three people asked for demo CD's and an Oasis tribute band heckled us. Partly because I heckled them. I don't know who I was writing this for - I can't write anything totally for someone else, but I do think of poetry editors with all of these latest ones. Some reordering of the terrorism and cats/dogs stuff would be a good idea, but I can't let go of twinklyblam. I'm sorry! It's something someone said on fireworks night and I thought it was really cute. Twinklyblam! Stanzas.... stanzas. Where? It runs on neatly, as a thoughtstream, and is very short. Stanzas would suggest too much of a weighty pause for my liking. I would be shocked if a thoughtful man paused for a few moments before muttering that about terrorists. Cheers, Joe!

Love the opening line to this. Great tone. And a very endearing fresh poem. Span