Loner
Sun, 2006-07-02 17:28
#1
Anonymous
Loner
http://www.abctales.com/story/littleditty/loner
Lots of little(ditty) gems in this one. I read each paragraph with anticipated discovery, wondering what I might find, always finding something.
Crit: could it be a little shorter? At times I wondered if it was repeating itself.
Regardless - deep piece of writing, Nicky, that really set me to thinking.
Foster.
mykle
I agree with Foster althogh I didn't feel it should be shorter as I liked the reinforcement.
It's a piece that keeps drawing you back for another dip.
camus
I agree with foster on all of his points including that it could have been a bit shorter, I think it would certainly help as I also worried that the length led to a feeling of repetitiveness.
Overall though, a good piece that I enjoyed but felt could be improved slightly with a bit of an edit.
littleditty
Thank for your comments on this dusty old piece - i am interested that it may be found to be long and repetitive, instead of reinforcing, as this kind of writing can feel that way, and that's not good...they are also tricky to edit. I'll take another look. I have an ancient piece called 'Autism' that is much longer and may well suffer from the same - I'll track it down and think about it - so thanks, glad you enjoyed this one and thank you for the juicy cherry! Nicky x