***It's Easy to Learn how to Write Amazing Poetry
www.lextalionisschadenfreude.blogspot.com
Dear Friend,
If you've ever wanted to simply convince people that you know more about poetry than they do …. and have them believe it …. then this is the most important message you will ever read.
My name is Dr. Fuse Less, and until very recently my powers of poetry were pretty ordinary.
I had a love/hate relationship with trying to sell my sonnets and unrhymed quartets … some days I would close like a pro … and the next afternoon my poetry sales would go all darkness visible. There have been times when my co-poets hung on my every word… and the next week my lines would be treated with contempt. Negotiating a business deal … or even a simple dictionary purchase, until recently was unpredictable, unreliable, and resulted in burning ocular dissonance.
I had no consistency at all, even after 22 years of professional poetry experience and the finest conventional training in cultural history, critical theory, and hegemonic negation availabe on planet earth. Between what I spent myself, and what my colleagues have dropped on poetry readings and workshops I'd estimate I've spent sixty-seven thousand dollars paying the “poetry professionals” to do their dog and pony shows.
Fortunately, I'm The Kind of Guy Who's Obsessed With Having The Minor Poets Obey Me ...
That's how I ran into AEM. And my life instantly changed forever. In a few short weeks after reading aloud from AEM's simple teachings … I learned how to read and write poetry that matters. I knew what poets ... and even regular people ... were thinking before they did. I could “adjust their pentameter” with a few simple recitations. I learned how to see if someone was going to produce a simile of pity and how to change their prissy abstractions into ambiguities that force our experience beyond stifling stereotypes. I learned how to train laypeople and poets alike to respond to the tones of my voice automatically and without question so that they would willingly read my poetry long after I had left the scene. Plus --- incredibly --- unexpectedly --- My Metaphysical Satires Improved, I Had Instant Metathesis on Demand, And Everyone Treated Me With New Respect. And in these short months it's just been getting better and better. I've become absolutely fearless in my poetic communication, going after every gust of Gestalt as if I had magical powers.
But it's not magic at all.
You see, what I learned from AEM had almost nothing to do with me … and everything to do with the amazing ability to use poetry as part of my everyday operations.
He calls it LEX TALIONIS SCHADENFREUDE:
www.lextalionisschadenfreude.blogspot.com
It's all about how to quickly and easily put people under your spell and get them to do what you want. AEM got all his ideas 15 years ago when he rejected the neomodernisms of a poet flogging a red wheelbarrow for the amusement of a bunch of doctors (i.e. professors), psychologists, and other distherapists. Why not just read poetry to them!
And when you learn the same simple but powerful techniques, you will be able to put people under your spell, and easily get them to read your poetry too!
Anyways, there is a very good reason why I am telling you all this.
You see, until recently, AEM refused to teach anyone who was not a licensed doctor (i.e. a professor). Now that he's released his latest book, the Canada Arts Council is trying to hoard away the deepest and most powerful secrets of Lex Talionis Schadenfreude. Until now, you couldn't even see the contents of this book unless you are a doctor (i.e. a professor)!
There are people who claim to teach AEM's methods…
....but only one man has cracked the code to using poetry in a sales situation…
...or on the job….
...or persuading friends and family members….
And that man is AEM.
www.myspace.com/tupperwareblitzkrieg
For the last 8 years, the only way to learn the special techniques of contemporary poetry was to hire AEM personally, and he never came cheap. In fact, he's been charging $333.00 an hour, with a minimum of 10 lessons in a package – meaning it would cost you $3330.00 just in fees to learn these powerful poetic techniques. That is, if you could nail him down for an appointment.
He is, perhaps …
The Most Sought After Poet In The World
And AEM would have gone on giving only private lessons and seminars...
...until I convinced him of a very simple economic fact:
www.tupperwareblitzkrieg.blogspot.com
If he would allow me to turn his private, highly-restricted teachings into a simple, easy, and well-structured book of poems… then we could sell these powerful poetic secrets to people for a slight fraction of his fee. I knew that within a year's time, so many people worldwide would buy LEX TALIONIS SCHADENFREUDE that AEM would never have to give another private lesson in poetry again.
He could actually make a better living by charging “spare change” while enlarging his audience, than he could by teaching a few wealthy poetry students each month for his “Rolls-Royce and Rolex” fees. And AEM agreed …. sort of.
Actually, he made me a deal. We could “test” this low-cost offer in a few places, and if it did well, the deal was on. If it didn't, however….
He Would Pull LEX TALIONIS SCHADENFREUDE Off The Market FOREVER And Go Back To His Outrageous Fees For Personal Lessons and Private Seminars.
That means, if you're reading this message, this opportunity is still on for you right now. This is an unbelievably exciting book … designed so that you can read it outdoors, at a cafe or even in your own home!
What you get are 259 professionally typeset pages. Each poem details everything you need to know to master… absolutely master ... the art of Profitable Poetry … in the shortest time possible. Nothing has been left out. You get the same instructional format that AEM uses for his hyper-expensive personal lessons and seminars … with the added advantage that you have it all on paper … so that you can “rewind” and go over any part you like until it becomes second nature!
You will discover:
The hidden secrets of Poetic Protocol, AEM's most closely held and powerful techniques.
The powerful “poetic triplet” command that SWAT teams use to force compliance … even in a fire-fight with hardened criminal poets.
How spontaneous prosody techniques will get even strangers to open up to you … reveal their inner longings …. and give you all the clues you need to get them to read any poetry you want.
The poetic way to get a poetry prospect to imagine the intense feelings of owning the poems you are selling, so they naturally feel compelled to buy right now! You can help them intensify the feelings so strongly that all objections simply melt away.
The easiest way to join the elite group of “poetry experts” by using their secret septenarius patterns for influence (more commonly known as the septenary, which is the same as the heptameter and the fourteener) …. It's easier than you think!
Create instant stanzas to unleash your readers' deepest desires…. and how to point them in your direction… (AEM's innovative mezzo-zeugma techniques are more refined and more powerful than any other).
A simple metrical variation technique that creates amnesia for any objection your subject may have to your poetry… they simply forget to remember what it was that might have stopped them from wanting to by your poems now.
What it means when poets “talks with their hands” and how to use these gestures to literally get inside a person's head.
How to know if poets are “talking to themselves” with intenal dialogue … and how to join that dialogue so that your voice seems like it comes from inside another poet's mind!
Lex Talionis Schadenfreude includes an amazing list of secret poetic ingredients that packs even more value into this panacea of poetic power … so you'll always have an easy reference right at your fingertips! And remember: You can always read Lex Talionis Schadenfreude at work, before sales calls, or use it to “brush up” before an important meeting.
More Highlights:
You will master the 4 stages of No-Nonsense Poetry :
1. How To Avante-Garde Attention 2. How To Bypass Double Dactyls and Limericks 3. Access a Hermeneutics of Suspicion 4. Amplify & Direct Pastoral Paeans and Potboiler Poesy.
Grasp the essential power of the 3-stage Hexastich Exercise to radiate authority and trustworthiness
How Expressionism builds a powerful connection between you and your subject
Discover Fyrtiotalisterna secrets of the Swedish poets and how they add power to AEM's covert methods of everyday poetic seduction
How to use the secrets of poetry's personal trance words …. (traditional poetry techniques actually rob you of the ability to use them, while AEM's hard-won expertise allows you to double or triple their poetic-power!)
Excel in the 3 basic voice tones, including the essential Paranomasia Command Tone that triggers an irresistible desire to read your poetry in 76% of all people (and when you combine it with the other techniques, your compliance-rate jumps into the 90's)
Your poetry builds energy and power when you use your expertise in the 3 Principles Of Poetry
The Pastiche Principle
The Monograph Effect
The Dramaturgy Set (you will learn exactly how to create a tiny little “drama” in the mind of your subject … then a larger “Drama” … and a larger “Drama” … until your subject is vibrating with the desire to shout “ENCORE!!”
How to use Discourse Analysis to build contoversial emotional power into your metric manipulations. ( I promise you will be blown away by how simple and easy this ultimate power-principle really is! )
Exactly how, when and where to use Cliche Priming in order to make your reader feel it's the most natural thing in the world to agree with the statements that you deliver immediately after the Cliche Priming. ---You will often receive a long email enthusiastically “thanking-you” for helping them to buy poetry!
How to use “pliego suelto” to boost your poetry-sales.
Finally win the High Status Game and the Low Status Game (hint… both are equally useful depending on the results you want in the world of poetry … low-status allows others to open up to you. It's a softer and more yielding form of dominance).
The processes in Lex Talionis Schadenfreude are not taught anywhere else!
Here's how it works: Order your personal copy of Lex Talionis Schadenfreude today! Don't get left behind on this one. I'd hate for you to miss out on this opportunity. This book may well be pulled from the shelves by AEM very soon and once it's gone, that's it.