I´m looking for a little feedback please?

You'll have more success if you join the queue of people wanting feedback, who also contribute feedback on other's work here...it's a give n' take kinda place.. also, if you copy and paste a link to your work, then people won't have to go fishing around for it... Best wishes, archergirl

As for the previous advice - it's true. If you comment on other people's work you do stand more of a chance on feedback yourself. Bit like clutching at straws - but you can always try. As for joining the queue - I think that you must be way up the front - having been there for 6 years!!!!!!!! Will have a read of your work over the next few days and come back to you. I PROMISE. At least some response is better than no response. Tina

Probably the lack of response is due to the lack of frequent feedback for others' work, but I dunno... I've had a read from your files, gia24. Certainly the emotions are there, and heartfelt. I would say that the imagery needs more 'zing': it comes down to 'show us', not 'tell us'. It's so easy to slip into well-used imagery (dying in the mother's ams, for example), but what I'd like is to *feel* it, not just *see it*, because seeing doesn't make me *feel it*. Know what I mean? It's basically sound writing, but maybe a bit formulaic for today's edgy preferences. Try experimenting with images, words, ideas; get to the *root* of the emotion, and then show us. Hope this helps...keep going!