The Raven: Byrne

agreed, this is a good little poem. Please may we have some line spacing, would make it look better and probably add something to the poem too. mcmanaman

I agree. It's a cracker. J had to tell me who Byrne was - I thought t'were a bloke by the name, for some unknown reason. Excellent piece. Check out www.fuselit.co.uk for scribbling fun, frolics and forums!

I like your style Ms Byrne, your voice is immediately relatable and strong, your ideas are presented in a fresh and original way. (See my comments re Retrieval.) And this piece is both clever and amusing and again does not use quotation marks. But I don't have a problem with that in this poem - it seems to work well for me. If I were to comment on anything, it would be the last three lines. If it were my poem I think the rest would be more powerful if it finished either on 'weakness.' which seems a more fitting ending to me because I feel the last three lines fall into prose. Or , if you feel the point still needs to be made; 'This is my punishment..." and delete "for wanting to know the truth. I'm sure of it." Always your writing though... I shall now enjoy more. Regards, Frances. Check out my website: http://www.francesmacaulayforde.com