Teo poems from span
Thu, 2007-01-04 17:34
#1
Teo poems from span
If anyone wasn't around on christmas day, Span posted a couple of great poems about which I don't have any hugely intelligent comments to make. Just flagging 'em in case they slipped by.
http://www.abctales.com/story/span/i-am-cultivating-a-fear-of-my-face
I loved the way the sounds worked in this line
'the felt green fountain chocking out 'coin coin crup.'
However I actually prefer this one
http://www.abctales.com/story/span/stepping-out-in-to-the-street-the-fro...
but the clemantines bit is just too reminiscent of MacNeice and his tangerines and the drunkenness of things being various! However, having gone back to read it again today I realised that the rest of the poem is very good.
I did mean two poems from span not Teo poems!
jude
"Cacoethes scribendi"
http://www.judesworld.net
I really enjoyed 'fear of my face' except for the sta starring bit which I don't understand.
But the 'stepping put in the street' one took me a while to 'get'. Once I did then I saw its joy - read it a few times, it's worth it! Still don't like the last line though!
In "Stepping Out..." it should be 'clementines', however, and 'its', not it's. (Picky me). But the imagery is fabulous and rich. Lovely!
I agree with tony about the stepping out onto the street poem, it's such a strong poem but think it deserves a better last line. ace poem tho