An unhelpful benefactor?

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Thu, 2012-07-26 14:42

Hey all!

You may know that 'The Benefactor' is a poem of mine which is posted here on abctales. I'm not the most consistent of poets and am ever learning (at least, I'd like to think so), and the comments I received here have been both encouraging and helpful. It was great to see that I had managed to get my point across, at least in part, and that readers seemed to take something from the poem.

Recently, I thought I'd post the same poem on a forum I know to be a tad more critical (by a tad, I mean a fair amount). The reply I found reads:

'So in a pub the narrator's judgement of others is coloured. At the end s/he believes than a man might really be a colossal poet. If that's it, it's not funny or surprizing enough for me, and I don't why the "benefactor" idea should get headline attention.'

I was surprised, firstly, by the tone of the comment; I think it says a lot for our community here at abctales that we really know how to be courteous while giving our honest opinion. Secondly, I was surprised by the lack of attention to what the poem actually says on a literal level, no matter the use of poetic device. It seems that there is no understanding of what the poem is really about.

Here's where I need some help!

Is this comment understandable\justified? If it is, then I'd certainly want to learn from it, in spite of the tone! If that is the case, then I'm more than happy to thank the guy for his comment and state that I will work on my communication skills.

It's important to note that this same forum user has ripped apart every other poem posted by myself - all of which are also here on abctales.

Thu, 2012-07-26 15:55

Denzella

Hello, I haven't read your poem but now thanks to that bloke I shall make a point of doing so and try to give feed back but I warn you I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to poetry. As for that unhelpful geezer...Stuff him!

Thu, 2012-07-26 16:07

Denzella

Me again, The title didn't register with me but yes I have read it before and very much enjoyed it. Like you I am trying to get to grips with poetry and like you I have had not only encouragement but also good advice. So much so that I now have two poems with cherries. Something I don't think would have happened without help. I love the idea of the three lost Leonardos if I have understood it right that this is a reference to the pub sign If wrong then please forgive remember I said I'm not the sharpest

Thu, 2012-07-26 16:21

steve_elliott04

Denzella, i love the idea of the paintings and the pub signs!! I'm tempted to steal it and claim it was of my own invention :P Honestly, though, thanks for your time! It's good to be reassured. FTSE, cheers my friend! It's a relief to hear that. I replied by justifying every point he criticised, and explaining the poem is more simple than he thinks. I think i have the upper hand now. His answer to my first reply stated: "a stand in for pub culture as a whole" - this was something I didn't get from the poem. To me, the narrator begins by showing s/he's unreliable, prone to exaggeration. "And with every gulp the gateway opens" suggests that the more s/he drinks, the more dazzling the company seems. Yes, the gulps could be gulps of wisdom from everyman (is "civic wellspring" quite the phrase?), but I've heard enough pub bores in my time to be suspicious. Where's the doubt?' this answer alone proves your point, FTSE - that the man is an ass. Fair enough, he is a reader and he has told me he just doesnt get the poem. But i get the feeling he doesnt read poetry like the average reader. His point about 'with every gulp...' just perplexes me. We're in a pub, we're drinking. It's as simple as that. The gateway is to the knowledge, the pub stories, the songs the we hear pouring out of drunken mouths. The very fact the he uses the phrases 'pub bores' conveys his understanding in (or lack there of) the poem.

Thu, 2012-07-26 16:23

ItsSteveDave

I just wrote a long comment but my computer just deleted it. Sodding technology. I like the poem Steve, I can relate to it. This bloke just wants to be courted and lavished with your respect before he will respect you, although he is entitled to his opinion, his tone is that of a complete arsehole. Stuff him. The poem gave me the tools to imagine my own colourful pub and my own colossal poet. I've been sat opposite a beautiful mind in a drunk's body before. It's a rich image, good writing!

Thu, 2012-07-26 16:39

steve_elliott04

Thanks, SteveDave, much appreciated! I fully respect his opinion, of course, but not every opinion is worth worrying about. I'm glad to have you abctalers to help me decipher whether this opinion is one worth taking seriously or not. When this guy first commented on my work, the comments were a lot harsher than these. I chose to ignore them, because if i didn't it would eat away at me and would ultimately become quite a destructive force. It makes me think of what good constructive criticism really is, and I don't think it is this at all.

Thu, 2012-07-26 16:41

ItsSteveDave

Out of interest, what site is this? I quite fancy getting my work ripped apart so I can try and tie that person up in his/her own words. Even if I fail, it's all good fun!

Thu, 2012-07-26 17:03

steve_elliott04

I wasn't going to mention the site, but since you asked it's the Poets Graves forum. It used to be alright, but it seems to have gone downhill a little in terms of a useful, constructive forum for beginner and experienced poets.

Thu, 2012-07-26 17:30

steve_elliott04

Well, there goes my certain air of politeness. Kinda just had a go at the man. It's at moments like this that I wish I had joined the debating society in school... 'It seems to me, Tim, that you read poetry here with a sense that you know better, thinking that the poets reasons for their use of device (or for writing at all) are unjustified because they do not write the same as you do. I post my poetry online for constructive criticism which, if received, I welcome gladly and will fully take into account. None of what you have said is constructive in any way.' A justified response?

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