Naked Dreams

I’d like to ask something off fellow ABC Talers. Is it only blokes who have naked dreams?

My wife had a jewellery party last night, so a crowd of the girls came round, had a glass of wine and bought jewellery, handbags, Marilyn Monroe scarves etc. The last time she threw one of these parties was in Portugal, and it was an Anne Summers party. Gill came round and brought her mum, Karen’s Nan, who apparently picked up a vibrator and said, “Oooh look, I could roll my pastry with this.”

Anyway, last night me and the lad were chucked out of the house and had to go down the pub for dinner. I took him to basketball after that and went back to the house, got myself a beer and went and sat in with the girls because Gail was in there, and I just love Gail’s tits!

So I start telling them all about this naked dream, well it wasn’t really a naked dream, I was on the tube on the way home from work and I’d managed to get myself a seat. Normally I end up crashing out, leaning on the person next to me and dribbling all over them. I get elbowed a lot.

This time, however, I’d put my hood up, fell asleep, woke up (or so I thought) only to realise that I was only wearing my boxers and my jacket. On a crowded tube train! I was really embarrassed and was thinking, “Everyone’s bound to have noticed.” I kidded on I was asleep for a little bit, gradually opened one eye, looked at all the other plebs, then looked down to see I was thankfully wearing my work jeans. It was just one of those 'naked dreams.'

Back to last night. I started telling all the girls about this dream, and every last one of them completely denied that they’d ever had a naked dream. They didn’t even have the faintest idea what I was talking about.

I’m like, “You know those dreams when you’re in the high street and you’re suddenly naked?”

And they’re all, “No!!”

The boy came home from basketball and so I asked him, “Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,” he said, “The last time I had one ….. da da da da da.”

So is it only blokes who have ‘naked-in-public’ dreams?