forum virgin

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Tue, 2005-11-29 21:35

forum virgin

Hi I'm new to your site, I'm new to forums of any kind, in fact I've never even shown any work to strangers before so it feels a little bit like first day at school. I've posted a little piece entitled 'Cordelia's Toys' and would like/dread any comments.

Tue, 2005-11-29 21:50

lisa h

http://www.abctales.com/story/polidori/cordelias-toys Hi, and welcome to the site! I really like it, and whilst going back for the address, you got cherried! Congrats. Is there more to this? Is it the beginning of something grander?

Tue, 2005-11-29 22:08

(Reply to #2) #3

polidori

Thanks Lisa, really appreciated. As I said this is the first time Iâ€™ve really shown to anyone [you never no if friends are just being polite] so thereâ€™s a little buzz in my fingertips at the moment. I like it! This is actually an out-take from a novel Iâ€™ve recently finished - after six years! I have a website that has more left overs on it if your interested http://uk.geocities.com/charlotte_ghost/ Not too sure if the link will work you may have to c&p. again thanks.

http://www.beyondsampled.co.uk

Tue, 2005-11-29 22:20

polidori

Hi Bare. Iâ€™m well chuffed people are reading the piece and that it seems to be going down well is an added bonus. Possibly my previous post will answer your valid crit. of the ending. It never really was a little story, more a road not taken. Cheers.

http://www.beyondsampled.co.uk

Thu, 2005-12-01 15:18

tcook

And I really liked your poem on Ely Cathedral. http://www.abctales.com/story/polidori/in-the-shadow-of-heaven At first I thought it was going to be one of those 'thee', 'thou' and 'it were thus' poems - using an appropriate language for the modern idiom. But it wasn't. It took the old vernacular to describe the inner cathedral and a very modern one for the outside. Clever and good. Congratulations!

Thu, 2005-12-01 15:51

polidori

Thank you. I had intended to call it ; â€˜A Journey to Ely Cathedralâ€™ to create a stronger link with the past but feared it sounded a little dull and so wouldnâ€™t be read.

http://www.beyondsampled.co.uk

Thu, 2005-12-01 17:59

polidori

A fair point and looking over it again possibly could have been improved simply by; â€˜As a young mother . . .â€™ and then â€˜With her ragged offspring . . . â€™ As that incident was the inspiration I felt I owed it a place.

http://www.beyondsampled.co.uk

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