Aftermath - by archergirl

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Tue, 2005-12-06 15:30

Anonymous

Aftermath - by archergirl

you guys are really making me like poetry...this one is excellent!

http://www.abctales.com/story/archergirl/aftermath

Tue, 2005-12-06 15:43

Foxy

I like this, I just hope that pain isn't real archergirl

Tue, 2005-12-06 18:44

mikepyro

very deep and emotional Arch. Great job.

Give me the beat boys and free my soul! I wanna getta lost in ya rock n' roll and drift away. Drift away...

Wed, 2005-12-07 09:59

archergirl

Thanks very much for the input. Foxy, the Muse in this case is all too real, sadly. Your compassion is appreciated! -AG

Thu, 2005-12-08 01:09

mikepyro

I know what u mean archer. My poem lucky dealt with a few of my problems and my uncles. Pain can produce many things.

Give me the beat boys and free my soul! I wanna getta lost in ya rock n' roll and drift away. Drift away...

Thu, 2005-12-08 03:16

ely_whitley

yep, liked it a lot. Got the images, loved the rhythm. The last verse I was hoping for some kind of closure, perhaps a new reflection on things. Didn't get the butterfly on the wheel thing and didn't like the double line at the end. what a crap critique, sorry it's a reaction, pay it no mind.

Thu, 2005-12-08 11:40

(Reply to #6) #7

archergirl

No, no problem. Critiques aren't crap! Double line at the end just used as an emphasis. The lack of closure was deliberate. Don't get 'broke the butterfly on the wheel'? .... You mean, in this context or in general? Basically, it was just an admission that I effed up something beautiful.

Thu, 2005-12-08 18:42

ely_whitley

in general, I see the destruction of the delicate just didn't see the wheel connection, like it's a well known saying that I've just never heard of or something. it works well as an image, the thunderous wheel unfeeling as it rolls over something so beautiful and fragile... or is it another kind of wheel like a spinning wheel/wheel of fortune etc? I'm asking too much here I guess and getting it out of context. I'll shut up.

Fri, 2005-12-09 09:55

(Reply to #8) #9

archergirl

'Breaking a butterfly on the wheel' - the wheel in this case is the wheel they used to torture dissidents on in the Middle Ages by tying their limbs to either side of a large wheel and then 'stretching' them, similar to drawing and quartering. Nice. It just means taking something small and beautiful and using drastic measures to kill it. -history lesson is now concluded- ;-)

Thu, 2005-12-08 23:02

#10

mikepyro

Most people never understand a poets endings. I know my friends are with mine. But they can get a good general Idea. Sometimes it helps their mind wonder.

Give me the beat boys and free my soul! I wanna getta lost in ya rock n' roll and drift away. Drift away...

Fri, 2005-12-09 10:15

#11

Enzo

Not nearly knowledgable about poetry enough to critique properly; but wanted to say this is great and the repeated line at the end works like a charm for me. Enzo.. www.thedevilbetweenus.com

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