People like to look for patterns by Span

Cheers Purplehaze. First thing I ahve ever written which goes to the end of the line. Quite nervous about it. Have to read it out next week in a seminar. Gah. Span

nice one span ... there was just one thing that felt ... familiar? perhaps i'd read it before somewhere? ... butterbean eyes? good luck with the seminar ...

I read this yesterday and thought it was absolutely beautiful. Made me yearn to be able to write like that. Way to go Spanno!

quite, byrne anyway you know how something sometimes just niggles ... well i had to search for butter bean eyes ... and lo ... http://www.abctales.com/node/548532 http://www.abctales.com/node/548579 i knew i had heard it before ... it's the kind of imagery that really stands out ... good for you span!

Is the title a deliberate reference to the deja vu you feel reading this if you follow Hannah's poetry? "I carried Tesco bag of rubbish to work instead of my satchel and only realized halfway through the first meeting" and "fucked in someone else’s bed" are other bits I've seen elsewhere! ~ I'll Show You Tyrants * Fuselit * The Prowl Log * Woe's Woe

I always think of span as the butter bean girl... i remember it standing out in one of her poems before as a startling image.

Yep -it's brill - and brimming full with Span's images - a poet's prose...i noticed a few commas might be needed around clauses in the beginning section esp *sorry: sickness of an english teacher* might post you what i fiddled with - but if you are going to be reading it out, i guess you know where you want the pauses to be - good luck with it, its a very strong piece :)

Sincerely thank you for the feedback. I really appreciate it. Punctuation and I are not friends it is true. I did steal bits from my other poems to write it for a number of reasons, some of which I shall explain although I really should not feel compelled to do so. 1. It is the first thing I have ever written which is not poetry and was nervous about it so figured any help I could give myself would be a bonus. 2. The sections that I hae resused are for particular reasons. Fiction is as fiction does and death of the author and such like, but in this case the brief for the assignment was a true piece of fiction. A contradiction in terms of course. But the bits I used were because they were in a tiny way significant to me. The rest of you, thank you for the feedback. Jon reread what you wrote and think about tone. I apologise for this very indulgent post. Span

Uh. I genuinely thought it might be a deliberate ploy to induce deja vu. Maybe that's just because I do the same thing, although you'd have to read what I don't post here to notice. ~ I'll Show You Tyrants * Fuselit * The Prowl Log * Woe's Woe

Sorry Jon. No not deliberate. Must have had a senstive moment. Hannah