Discordant Apple-Improvement Ideas?

My thoughts are that there's not much to say that isn't entirely subjective. The story is a kind of gothic punk science fiction - horror crossover and it's not really my kind of thing. Still, I do remember reading some Piers Anthony when I was a kid which drew heavily on folkloric imagery: werewolves, unicorns and all that so you're not exactly out on a limb. I wasn't left really caring who or what was in the coffin - perhaps you could give us more of a hint as to what the werewolf is thinking - write it from the werewolf's point of view perhaps. I don't identify with anyone in the story and have to stick through loads of stuff that just establishes again and again that we are in a very different world without finding out much interesting about any characters. Is this a prologue or a true short story? The first moment that put me off was the flying hearse. I reckon you'd have been better to describe a flying vehicle and then let us find out that it's a hearse: 'the long black grav-car sped....' for example; when they pull the coffin out of the back we'll realise that it's a hearse. Hope some of this is useful - I'd be happy to discuss the story some more in exchange for a reading and ideas from you about my recent story 'Wodan's Bathhouse'. Deal?