RE: Ap

I think that this stuff is incredibly difficult to write well. It's such a well furrowed track that to be original is very, very difficult. You have chosen to take the serious, as opposed to the wittily amusing, approach and that makes it all the more daunting. To be honest I don't think that you succeed. It's just another tale of weird humanoid things doing stuff in a world after nuclear holocaust. Ho Hum. The characters don't grip me and the setting is humdrum. Sorry to be so blunt but it sometimes takes a stranger to set you straight - and other might well disagree. I suggest that you try and write a set of short stories first. Keep them to a maximum of 2,000 words, work at them, get the sentences in good order, go over every word to check it's the right one in the right place, think about the plot, play with the structure, develop some twists. And once you've got that sorted out, then try a longer piece! That's terribly negative but it might be the best bit of advice on writing you ever get.

I agree with tony. It's very difficult to make this sort of thing credible. Introducing spiders with green blood doesn't help. Sorry. Try reading Will Self's latest 'Book of Dave' for a truly imaginative post apocalyptic future. Perhaps a better approach might be a short story about an encounter with a spider using flashbacks and interior monologue.

Why ask for constructive criticism if you're then going to complain about the response you get? Lose the ego, listen, and you might actually develop as a writer, which is what you want, isn't it?

I was harsh because I thought you wanted a true criticism - you asked for it! I also think that you might have the spark of a real writer in there - but you're going to have to listen a lot, read a lot and grow up a bit.

Directs people to earlier comments about the frustration involved in giving criticism to people who don't actually want it. For what it's worth I think Tony's comments are a bit harsh. From a technical point of view, a large percentage of prose on here is much much worse than this. I can't really comment from the story point of view because I wouldn't be interested in reading a good story about five characters in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Well, not unless those characters were Dogtanian, the three musket hounds and Wayne Rooney.

Yes but Tony saw some talent and was trying to get the writer to bring that out - the only way to improve is to take harsh criticism and use it. And I will repeat the point that the writer in question specifically posted to the forum requesting feedback, which they then got. Surely proper honest feedback which might enable a writer to truly grow as a writer is much more valuable than someone going 'Yes, quite like this, well done, maybe a few tiny things to work on'?

Good for you. One thing any writer needs is a thick skin. I haven't read Ap. I'm going to now, I cannot promise that you will get anything but honesty, but you seem able to deal with that. As with Bukh, your chosen genre really does not float my boat, BUT - for all that - I think I might be able to offer some insight. Check back under the story in a day or so. regards Ewan

I was responding to your phrase: 'Aw, well its not Shakespeare for crying out loud.' Which I thought came across as rather ungracious.

And I almost certainly was a bit harsh - I didn't realise it at the time but I was sickening for a nasty bout of some virus or other. Apologies.