Professor Brian Cox and operative #471

6 posts / 0 new

Tue, 2012-09-18 19:22

A little story started off by Mr Squirrel, i've taken the liberty of posting it here, will post my response and continuation. Does anyone else want to join in? a bit of a laugh and some silliness, feel free to continue the story!

Professor Brian Cox walked into his bedroom, he was exhausted after a hard week filming his upcoming series 'Wonders of Life' and thinking about clever stuff. His face-plate clicked and slid open with a hiss. There was a clunk and his chest-door swung open. His 4 foot grey-green pilot climbed out and sat at a dressing table.

He pressed a few concealed buttons, the mirror first turned static and then into the image of an extra-terristrial being beamed over light-years of subspace.

The image spoke "#471, received - anything to report?".

"Negative, Station. Plans are continuing as ... uhm, planned."

"Excellent #471. We have reports of concerns that require adjustment. Your vessel appears to be malfunctioning slightly. Firstly, the oral-cushioning lubrication system appears to be hugely overproducing resulting in the appearance of overly moist lips."

#471 replied, "I shall run a full range of diagnostics".

The image on the mirror nodded "and secondly, readings of levels of enthusiasm are reading as unnaturally high. We haven't seen these sort of numbers since the failed mission codenamed Timmy-Mallet."

"But you wouldn't believe the amount of Earth-pussy this gets me" replied #471 sheepishly.

Tue, 2012-09-18 19:22

Das Stavrou

"Earth pussy #471?" replied the image. "Erm apologies, master signal, proper functions will be restored" "Excellent #471. Prepare yourself as operative #38 will be joining you on this mission, high command has seen fit to send another agent to assist with your kill count" "Ah master signal .. that's not necessary thank you ..." "Not necessary #471? are you sure you're functioning properly!?" "Apologies again master signal, i erm ... do believe that the Brian Cox model has disrupted my synapses, i shall regenerate outside of the model and recover equillibrium" The pilot then held up his little claw to the mirror and made the symbol of Zeltagroigaax to show his loyalty. "Yes well 471# ensure that you do, this mission will ensure the safety of our race and Zeltagroigaax will be free to roam and absorb flesh again. You will awaken at 0400 hours to recieve operative #38. It will be transported by the Des O Connor model which is said to have the perfect demeanour of a harmless happy tv personality but behind closed doors is extremely aggressive and sexually dominant. Understood?" "Yes master signal" "Excellent, now begone, all hail the mighty anal destroyer Zeltagroigaax" "Hail the mighty anal destroyer Zeltagroigaax" said operative #471 wearingly The image on the mirror dimmed until it cracked and then, silence dawned. "Fucks sake" Groaned operative #471 "Des O fucking Connor is going to take all my pussy!"

Tue, 2012-09-18 21:10

lenchenelf

He slumped. 'Operative #471, humph, but in this existence I have become so much more. Was it not I that recalled a nation to the wonders of Patrick Moore's tightly buttoned waistcoats, Brian May's celestial riffs?' His face plate slid home with a hiss. 'All hail to the sigil of Zeltagroigaax, selected for a worldwide re-enactment of qualities specifically selected for war, but get real, there's quality groove on this planet. I'm staying.' ...and then the doors blew off, to the echo of a strident cockney cry...... --------------------------------------------------- *Just a small thought, you DID ask the original author before posting here, didn't you?*

Wed, 2012-09-19 12:13

andrea

...Born ‘n’ bred in Camden Tahn, I really loves to scoff me grub. Fish ‘n’ chips go nicely dahn wiv jellied eels, in a tub. Cod ‘n’ plaice ‘n’ sole ‘n’ hake, (my favourite is rock salmon). And here’s a dish I love to make, fried egg ‘n’ beans ‘n’ gammon. Cockney sparrer, so I am, Cor blimey, not a toff! No poncy lobster, prawns or lamb, it’s bangers wot I scoff.... Throated a warbly voice. And without more ado...

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Wed, 2012-09-19 18:02

lenchenelf

...he shouldered his two smoking barrels and grinned. 'Right guv, come along. #38's had his collar felt by the intergalactic food agency, dodgy tentacle stew again. Your old mucker, #221b should be arriving just about.....'

Thu, 2012-09-20 16:24

tcook

....he waited and waited, but the opium had taken over #221b and if he would have to wait a while longer. So he contempalted his navel and saw within the wonders of the universe. With Brian Cox's analytic funtions and his own clarity of thought it all became crystal clear. Zeltagroigaax was not what he seemed. In fact the answer was...