Open letter to Jeffrey

Hello dear friend.

Just a short note to ask for your advice, dear Jeffrey darling. Neil and I would have visited you, but as you've probably read the tabloids, darling we have been rather busy lately.

We couldn't write to you either as those funny people with the uniforms on read your letters, and as we knew you write a diary for ABC tales we chose this avenue to contact you.

We were wondering if you could help us with any of your old contacts, re: alibis etc. We would also like some advice on how to slap the illiterate and stupid journalists with lawsuits so that they become so frightened that they daren't publish anything nasty. Like you Jeffrey, we are totally innocent of any misdomeaner but being in the public eye, well enough said dear.

Please reply through this medium as it does seem to be a rather good way to correspond privately. Do give Muzz our love as he seems to be looking after you. Also Ronnie, bless his cotton socks.

CH