The Bunny Girl by Kraut - Terrific!

Thanks, Mark, that was a nice surprise! Yes, I thought about the beginning and the end as well and I think you've got a point. At one stage I even considered leaving it out altogether and just stick to the core story, but I can't help it, it would somehow seem like a cop out to me. Anyway, will think about it and hopefully come up with a solution.

fantastic story - kept me going, but switching back to the present day felt like an anit-climax. I agree that you should stick to the core story which is a lovely jumble of childhood and how they percieve the actions of adults. without giving too much away i was distraught!!:) but also found it a little funny in a 'black' sense. ty Juliet

I found the story brilliant, really interesting , however, the end left me slightly disappointed. I know, I know, happy endings are so much cosier and satisfying and life is not like that. Still, I found it a bit unbelievable, this reaction of ignoring the subject of Walter. Does this mean she was so traumatised that she suffered amnesia? Or did she not like the old school friend or...there areso many more questions than answers. It left me tense, still searching... Was that your intention, Kraut? Yutka:)

Thanks very much for your comments, Juliet and Yutka! I've just edited the story and chopped the beginning and end framing the actual story off and have to say, I'm quite happy about it. The initial idea with the framework was to indicate some kind of cause and effect, but, after having read all your comments, I don't think that's really necessary anymore. (I often struggle with short stories because there's too much going on in my head and I keep making connections and connections, whilst at the same time reminding myself to keep it short and concentrate on the gist - maybe I ought to start writing a novel some time...) Thanks again for your input - it's been very helpful!

Kraut i have just re read it, and yes it works much better as a short story, the ending feels right. Juliet