To My First Love by rokkitnite

definetly needs a warning - but excellent, a very male perspective. Juliet

"Whilst I, upstairs, Took my affair with your mother To the ‘next level’ Noisily To the theme tune from Bergerac." She obviously would've been thinking about John Nettles all the time.

hahaha i loved it and all it's (c)rudeness. but i'm afraid some of my favorite lines shouldn't be reposted here.

Brutal. Both in the California-skater-ish "cool" sense and in the traditional meaning. joe

If it was me, I'd drop the first verse because it feels too 'try hard' brutal and callous, when the rest isn't. It's a bit 'oh look, I'm oh so jaded'. Cheers, Mark

this is superb. not nearly dark enough. come on tim, i know you can be worse.

Haha. But yes. I'd agree with Mark that the first strophe could probably go. Some of it verges into being unpleasant when really much of the tone just wants to be funny -- the ending note of Bergerac is very funny.

Okay. Maybe I need to return to this and see if I can rework it into a performance piece. My set's crying out for an offensive poem with misogynist overtones - you know, to offset all the gentle, mainstream humour I usually employ.