Snappy rebuffs to cold callers

These annoy me at work where they lie to get past my receptionist. She is instructed to tell them I am dead but they still want to know, notwithstanding my demise, whether I am interested in purchasing their product from beyond the grave. At home, my hatred of these people is cranked up to 11. I got one of them so angry once that he repeatedly called me back and hung up on me.

Then there are those who dare to come to my door. Now I work an average of 13 to 14 hours per day so the temptation to get medieval on their asses is all too high. Yes I will buy a sponge from the chap who is just trying to turn his life around - they are the exception but Lionel Shriver's response to those trying to peddle door to door religion is perfect (for those familiar with "we need to talk about Kevin".

I appreciate that this rant might make me sound a little,lets say, uncharitable and hardened but that is because I am very uncharitable and very hardened and it is the cold callers who did it to me! My job is all about helping people who cannot help themselves and I love it, but I do not count amongst those, the people who have for whatever reason, decided to spend their lives working in call centres.

Worse still and this one I abhor - is the man who constantly comes to our door and nags my wife to have our sodding tree cut. She has given in to him one and he clearly did bugger all and charged her for the pleasure of not doing anything. She has told him to come back and speak with me at the weekend.

I hope he does......