You'll thank me for this later

1. I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN A BOY. But I wasn't. Instead they were given a baby girl, to love and cherish, and they had to make do. They'd already picked out the name of Benjamin, and my mother saw no reason to change it. My brother, who is the most honest person I know, made faces at me and asked why my blanket was pink if my name was Benjamin. We were driving back from the hospital.

Once upon a time, there lived a packet of hair dye that dressed like a nostalgic glue stick.