Rocket Science

From The Times:

Squaddie injures backside launching firework
By Michael Horsnell of The Times

The blue touchpaper was lit and everyone retired immediately, just as the trusted Firework Code recommends.

That is, except for the squaddie recently returned home from a tour of duty in Iraq who thought Bonfire Night needed enlivening.

The soldier was on all fours with his trousers down and a certain part of his anatomy pointing at the stars with a black cat thunderbolt rocket firmly in place.

The stunt, which mimicked a scene in the controversial film Jackass: The Movie, went off with a bang at the end of the display in Sunderland but it backfired on the the intrepid squaddie.

Named locally as Andrew Tilley, aged 22, he did not take off and land in the adjoining county of Northumberland but ended up in his local hospital where he is being treated for a scorched colon and other injuries.

In the under-statement of the year, safety experts warned yesterday that launching a rocket from the backside is a practice that contravenes the Firework Code.