Wendy Mitchell (2023) One Last Thing: How to live with the end in mind.

Would you kill yourself? I would. Like many people I’ve talked to that have cared for people with dementia, the retort usually follows along the lines of ‘just shoot me’. Wendy Mitchell has lived with early-onset dementia since her diagnosis in 2014. Her first book was the bestseller, Someone I Used to Know.

Break out the bucket list. Do a bit of wing walking. Get real about what life you have remaining. Our brain shrinks as we get older. Our chances of getting dementia increases as we get older. Mitchell reminds us the mortality rate is 100%. We all die of something. She’s living with brain fog.

For my parent’s generation it was the big C. For my generation it’s the big D. Rab Ward, for example. He used to train our Guild fitba team. Three or four years older than us. He’d turn up in the church hall and put us through our paces whilst wearing bin bags over his football shirt. The idea was you sweated more and lost weight. Crap idea.

Rab’s brother told me they finally admitted he had dementia when he drove up the toon and couldn’t find his car to get home. Jokes about having done much the same thing are appreciated. He died the day his granddaughter was born.

My mum had dementia too. But she was in her seventies and considered old. I’m in my sixties. I’ve no intention of carrying on if I get dementia.

Mitchell signposts some topics. Death as a topic is still taboo. Conversations about End-of-Life Care…Refusing Treatment...Assisted Dying…On Life.

Three-quarters of us are in favour of assisted dying. Before the defenestration of the Tory-scum-party, only a third of MPs were. It’s not a vote winner. Best leave it in murky waters. Most of us are scared of dying in pain. Dealing with dementia, our number one killer, is about a different kind of ending. That loss of dignity. Loss of control. We cannot imagine ourself becoming who we are. My partner says that’s not bad. You wouldn’t know. Conversations with future self. Your time will be up, pal. Read on.