Shrink Wrap

SHRINK WRAP.
sneak

She despises my bad attitude.
She says I rarely smile.
I try to force a grin?
It takes me quite a while.
She thinks I'm far too sullen.
She suspects a troubled mind.
There's a chip upon my shoulder,
there's an axe I cannot grind.
She labels me 'abnormal'
She sends leaflets to my home.
'Living with a tosser'
and 'Coping on your own'
I tolerate her theories.
Deep down I know she's good.
I draw the line, however,
at supplying her with blood!
She says she wants to test me,
for drugs and STD's!
She wants to use hypnosis -
to research my memories.
She thinks I may have suffered -
in a traumatised past life -
at the hands of thugs and villains,
or a jealous former wife!
I've expressed that I am happy,
in my own depressive way.
I don't talk to her friends -
because I have nothing to say.
I only look this sullen -
so as not to crack my lips.
I stare in to her eyes -
before staring at her tits.
Her thesis lays abandoned -
as she halts the current tests.
Declaring the synopsis,
'You're obsessing over breasts!'
'That's a reasonable assumption'
I casually declare.
'The proof is in the pudding.
I will need to see a pair?'
'Just for research purposes,
I'll put your mind at ease.
Come on, get your tits out,
and treat my sad disease'
I smile to show I'm joking.
'Cured', I say, - 'You win'
She says it's psychological.
She is doing my head in!