CLEVER PLAY!!

* HOW DO U MAKE A SWISS ROLL?
PUSH HIM DOWN THE ALPS!!!!
* EARLY TODAY 2 MEN BROKE IN TO THE HOME OF MR AND MRS HIRENBAKER. A
DISTRESSED MRS HITENBACKER TOLD ME THEY TOOK EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE SOAP
AN TOWELS...POLICE ARE NOW SERCHING FOR THE DIRTY CROOKS!!!!

*WHY DID U STOP WORKING ON UR TIME MACHINE?
I DECIDED THERE WASS NO FUTURE IN IT""""!"!!!!

*WHAT DID THE RHINO SAY INTO THE MICROPHONE?
TUSKING TUSKING 123....

* HEY THERES A CATAPILLER ON MY PIZZA.
DONT WORRY CATERPILLERS HAVE A VERY SMALL APPITITE,...

* IT SAYS IN THE NEWSPAPER THE MOST INTELLIGENT PERSON IN THE WORLD IS
GOING DEAF...
PARDON??

*DID U MANAGE TO MEND MY PHONE?
THE BATTEYS FLAT....
WHAT SHAPE SOULD IT BE?!?!

*Y R U SO ANGRY?
CAUSE ITS ALL THE RAGE

* THE POLICE WERE CHASING A CROOK THROUGH A SUPERMARKET, BUT THEY LOST
HIM..HE JUMPED ON A SCALE AND GOT A WEIGH.

*MAN 1:WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENT GOES WITH PIZZA?
MAN 2: DONT KNOW.,...
MAN 1: PICKLE-0

* GREATFUL LADY TO THE HERO: I WAS REALLY PROUD OF U WHEN U DIVED FROM
THAT SKYSCRAPER TO THE RIVER, TO RESCUE MY HUSBAND WHO WAS
DROWNING
HERO: THANK U MA'M, WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHO PUSHED
ME!!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?

LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL

* WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A THUNDERSTORM AND A GIANT WITH A TOOTH
ACHE?
ONE POURS WITH RAIN...THE OTHER ROARS WITH PAIN!!!!

*jANE: WHAT IS UR FAVOURITE NUT?
TIM: CASHEW
jANE: BLESS U!!

*WHY R U WAIRING ONLY ONE GLOVE?
WELL THE WEATHER SAID IT WAS GOING TO BE COLD BUT ON THE OTHER HAND IT
COULD BE WARM....

* HOW DO U KEEP A IDIOT IN SUSPENCE?
HOW?
ILL TELL U NEXT WEEK...

* I THINK IM LOOSING MY MIND
DONT WORRY U WONT MISS IT.

*THERES A DEAD FLY ON MY PIZZA....
WAITER: YES SIR, ITS THE HEAT THAT KILLS THEM...

* WHAT DID THE POLICE MAN SAY TO HIS STOMACH?
UR UNDER A VEST!!!

* WHAT DID THE GRAPE SAY WHEN THE MAN STOOD ON IT?
NOTHING IT JUST GAVE OUT A LITTLE WHINE

* WHAT DID THE BUISCUIT SAY WHEN IT GOT RUNN OVER?
AWWWWW CRUMBS!