She smiled at me across the room,
With eyes that shone with deep desire;
And whispered hints, of rosebud bloom;
That set to plump, my manly fire.
With eyes that shone with deep desire,
She spoke with words that made me blush;
She touched my heart with mortar fire;
with images that I longed to touch.
I took a breath... I hid my crutch,
Then spoke to her of passion’s flame;
To which she said I had the: "common touch,"
And that I should: "...never speak to her again!"
So I sit here all alone once more,
With nothing that will lift my mood;
And ponder on what I should have said;
as)she smiled at me across the room.
Comments
Silver Spun Sand | February 28, 2012 - 19:11
Liked...alphadog, but more than that I shall not say, or else I shall make myself blush;-) Loved the the title, by the way.
Tina
alphadog1 | February 28, 2012 - 19:45
it made me giggle.
alphadog1 | February 28, 2012 - 19:47
sorry about my previous post about rain. It is a beautiful poem, and its hard for me to say that about my own work.
alphadog1 | February 29, 2012 - 00:52
as this comment did... its a simple ditty this one.
gerardineanne | February 29, 2012 - 09:49
Enjoyed this very much,nice rhythm.
alphadog1 | February 29, 2012 - 10:51
Thanks geradineanne I am glad you liked it; it was an old piece from the back room in the form called pantoum... though it has as many lines as a sonnet. I have rewritten the first line of the last stanza... but I doubt I will be doing any thing else to it.
tcook | March 1, 2012 - 17:55
I like it - but the metre goes out of kilter in the last two stanzas!
alphadog1 | March 1, 2012 - 18:05
Thanks Tcook ha ha I know...like most of my work its evolving... I love the writing process and poetry gives me more freedom... perhaps I'll toy with it... but I doubt I will... its fun as it is... I have been thinking about getting in touch with an agent, as I have enough strong poetry to make one but... I don't know...
alphadog1 | March 2, 2012 - 20:29
truth is I am a rubbish writer.