each day unfolds just like the last,
wake up, eat toast, make tea;
becalmed between future and the past.
with happy thoughts or mood downcast,
catch bus, swipe in, make tea;
each day unfolds just like the last.
the clocks move slow, the emails fast,
click on, click off, make tea;
stagnate between future and the past.
the odd new face, a change in cast,
sit here, print there, make tea;
each day unfolds just like the last.
a week off booked, a sickie grasped,
sleep in, eat toast, make tea;
adrift between future and the past.
but it's a job; the dole queue's vast,
don't cry, don't howl, make tea;
each day unfolds just like the last,
becalmed between future and the past.
Comments
JessicaA | July 14, 2012 - 00:03
The repetition makes this poem, for me. Great job and welcome to ABCtales. :)
insertponceyfre... | July 14, 2012 - 07:17
I also like the repetition in this.
Rhiannonw | July 14, 2012 - 07:53
Cleverly written.
It may be me, but I kept wanting to put in a 'the' in the line 'becalmed between future and the past.' ie 'becalmed between the future and the past.' and the similar ones, but maybe you prefer the change of rhythm there.
regards, Rhiannon
Silver Spun Sand | July 14, 2012 - 09:07
As insert says, bonzo, the repetition suits it so well. Many of us, I feel, will be able to identify with this poem. Enjoyed.
Tina;-)
bonzo | July 14, 2012 - 10:24
Thank you all very much for reading and commenting. I've struggled a bit with the 'between future and past' line - I had 'the' in originally but then liked the effect of it out, but having re-read it aloud (again) I think it may be better in. Definitely a work in progress!
Thank you again for your encouragement.
Silver Spun Sand | July 14, 2012 - 10:28
You're welcome, and I for one, certainly, look forward to reading more of your work. Have a good Saturday;-)
scratch | July 14, 2012 - 11:27
Hi Bonzo. Definitely a keeper. Truth contained in this and expressed lyrically. Well done.
bonzo | July 14, 2012 - 19:47
Thank you for reading, Scratch. Appreciate the comments.
magicdarer | July 15, 2012 - 04:13
It is clever organic and not mechanical repetition that interlocks the stanzas together in a subtle but powerful way. This combined with the modern feel and the universal appeal amongst the subjugated employed makes this a winner.
denni1 | July 15, 2012 - 10:22
Hello .. l'm afraid l have a poem with your name in it !! How funny is that ?? I liked your work, bonzo xx