In the year 2030, Eric and Kyle Johnson had a dream. They wanted to prove the existence of a Spirit Realm. Through many years of meticulous planning, the brothers constructed their first prototype interdimensional portal unit. Its first test proved to be a failure, or at least that's what they thought. They'd opened a gateway, and the only problem, once a gateway had been opened there was only one possible way to close it. Destroy the unit completely.
The United States Government knew of the unit's existence, and that it was a success. So they stole the unit, before the brothers could destroy it, in the hopes of entering the dimension beyond the gateway. Upon breaking the barrier between our world and the next, they released Death in physical form. He'd been waiting for centuries to be set free, biding his time, building his strength. This was the beginning of the end for our Earth Plane of existence as we knew it.
The brothers banded together with various survivors, to find the portal unit and destroy it. It was the only way to send Death back to his dimension for good. Death was ahead of them at every step. He'd raised the world's dead, to roam and feast upon the living. Managing to bring across a vast demonic army before the brothers destroyed the prototype unit. As Earth slowly died around them, Death wanted another unit built. He wanted to release Satan himself, and thus jump start an early Apocalypse. The Johnson brothers and their party of survivors fought until the very end. They managed to destroy the second unit, and stop Death, Kyle lost his brother and party. There was but one survivor that remained with him in the end.
The year is now 2050, Kyle made a trek across the United States ending up in Washington DC. The zombies had not returned to the Spirit Dimension, for they hadn't come from the portal. Kyle spoke to the President of the United States about the devastation plaguing the Earth. He knew and had set into action a constituency plan. Government scientists had been hard at work since the first incident - known as the Dead War - creating a vast ectoplasmic barrier system that would force the dead and other creatures to one, less populated side of the planet. This force barrier was known as the Demonline. The known armed forces were combined as one elite fighting force - the Brimstone Brigade.
The world seemed to be getting back under control. Until a madman known only as Obsidian, fled to the evil side with the blueprints of the Johnson Device. The blueprints that were supposed to have been destroyed completely. Obsidian was a genius and knew how to boost the power of the device a hundred fold. Since constructing and opening the portal again, unholy creatures have poured out of the gate, and threaten to tear through the Demonline. It's up to the Brimstone Brigade to see that he's stopped once and for all. And so their struggle continues to this day.
Comments
jolono | August 8, 2012 - 18:06
Good start Bryan, not normally my kind of thing but I'm in!
Bryan Skylar | August 9, 2012 - 05:29
Glad you liked it, now only if I had more support.
jolono | August 9, 2012 - 10:29
I think you've got the length just right with this one Bryan. If it's too long you won't get that many reads, but as we always say on here, keep reading and commenting on others work and they WILL return the compliment.
Natalia | August 11, 2012 - 02:31
Hi Brian
I love everything about this! I especially like how you personify Death. Everything flows great, but maybe you should consider slowing things down a little, even if it is the prologue. Maybe save some for later?
GREAT job so far.
Natalia
Coatsley | August 11, 2012 - 12:08
I'm with Natalia on this one. It feels less like a prologue and more like a long period of exposition. The concept is an excellent one - an interesting marriage of zombie apocalypse and Judeo-Christian fantasy with good helpings of super-hero fiction on the side - but the story itself reads more like the opening of a Star Wars film or the 'Previously On' introductory text to a comic or T.V. series than the prologue to a book.
Exposition's a pain in the ass - any author will tell you that. But it's a matter of 'show, don't tell'. If you want a stronger opening, perhaps consider setting the prologue at some point in the middle of this calamitous series of events. You'd be able to convey exactly the same information, but in a more exciting format. We'd see this cataclysm from a human perspective, rather than an omniscient narrator's, and I think that would lend it greater gravitas.
Consider: which is more gripping to a reader? A few lines of text telling them that in 2018 a supervirus wiped out 90% of the Earth's population, or seeing someone during the pandemic itself fleeing for his/her life, surrounded by the dead and dying?
Regardless, it's an interesting concept, and I'm looking forward to reading more.
fatboy74 | August 11, 2012 - 23:16
I want more people to know about your writing Bryan. I usually just sit at home and watch documentaries about the end of the world, or try to learn the lyrics to Ebeneezer Goode whilst snorting a mixture of absinthe and moon-dust (has anybody got any Veras?), but a friend of mine (who found out from a friend of his) told me about the general awesomeness of your work and so now here I am.
Have I said awesome?
I am about to set up a blog specifically for the purpose of advertising your writing which is so far from being whack it is kcahw. I have also splashed out on a signed photo of Paul Ross which I will be sending to you first class.
Legend. Awesome.
Bryan Skylar | August 12, 2012 - 00:00
Thank you very much for your great comments. I'm not the type of guy who can slow down his writing. To me, slow is boring. I always have more for later. More . . . It's stuffed in my breast pockets and coming out of my ears.
Thanks,
Bry
Bryan Skylar | August 12, 2012 - 00:05
You're completely flattering me. Legend? That is going a little far. Wow. You feel my work is awesome. Are you serious about creating a Blog to advertise my writing? I'm not a legend. Stephen King, HP Lovecraft, Hitchcock, Rod Sterling, they are the real legends. I'll keep writing the good stuff, its my goal to entertain, and one day see a movie adaptation of my books.
Thanks,
Bry
Bryan Skylar | August 13, 2012 - 02:39
Where did you read that Natalie said this was not like a prologue? There is an entire book that was written before this one, leading up to the new events in Brimstone Brigade. Its entitled - 'The Dead War.' I won't change anything storywise because to do so would ruin parts of Dead War. And I believe that Prologues are ment to tell and not show, they are just reference material, explaining how everything in the book got started.
Read on if you wish, but not to keep me happy. Thanks for your input.
Bryan