Women, concerned about your appearance?

Yesterday evening (22 July 2006) I was out in Edinburgh with a friend. At the end of the night we found ourselves in the Meadow Bar ( http://www.meadowbar.co.uk/ ) . I was vaguely aware of a couple sitting behind me, in full view of my friend. I didn't notice the guy, and didn't see the woman's face but do remember catching a glimpse of her from the rear. She was young and slim, athletic in build ” the way she was dressed her midriff was exposed. At one point I caught a sentence. It was the woman saying, "There are plenty of girls with pretty faces, and ¦uh¦ 'slack' bodies. Those were the words she used, and she sounded bitter.

I thought no more about it until much later, when my friend said, "Wow, that was one f”d up chick! (This was after they had left.)

I said, "What do you mean?

It turned out that when I had thought he'd been fully engaged in our conversation, he'd been observing the couple. He explained: "That woman was really insecure, I mean seriously¦ And that couple's in trouble. She had this thing about her face not being attractive. I tell you, Eric, if I'd been single I'd have been tempted to have gone up to her and said, 'You're gorgeous enough for me, babe! How about you and I¦?'

So why am I telling you this? Well, it touched a nerve. It brought to life some of the background reading I did for my novel and then again for the talk I gave this month (for example this article http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,1808236,00.html and this excellent book http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&isbn=059...).

What I discovered was that there has been a huge increase in the rate of mental illness in youngsters. Many are depressed and insecure. A large part of the explanation is that women (and men, to some extent) are increasingly worried about they way they look. Why?

Well, a major part of the reason for this is the mass media, our celebrity-obsessed culture. How does this explain it?

We tend to compare ourselves with others. In days gone by, the Internet did not exist, we watched less television, read fewer gossip magazines, and our media in general were less celebrity-obsessed. When we compared the face and body in the mirror with the faces and bodies we saw around us, relatively few of these faces and bodies were those of celebrities¦ With me so far?

What are "celebrities? Celebrities are, on the whole, people considered by many to be extremely attractive. This applies particularly to the female ones. In other words, they are, to a large extent, famous because of their appearance. Sure, they may need other attributes; for example, if they are actors they need to be able to act, if they are singers they need to be able to sing¦ Nevertheless, the way they look is a big part of it.

It follows from this that whereas years ago people would be comparing themselves with Joe Bloggs and Jane Doe (ordinary people, non-celebrities, and people famous for reasons other than their looks), nowadays people are comparing themselves with the "most beautiful, a tiny proportion of humanity. In fact, you could say that people are comparing themselves to "freaks ” no wonder they are insecure about their looks!

Is this all that's important to say on the subject? Not by a long chalk¦

Big money is made on the back of all this. If people can be made to feel insecure about their appearance, you can sell things to them. A huge ” and I mean humungous! ” amount of money is made by promoting and exploiting this phenomenon. They need to convince you firstly that there is something wrong with your looks (or at least that they could be improved), and secondly that by buying their product you will be "fixed.

Obviously, the fashion and cosmetics industries depend on this. So do publications and websites, not only for advertising revenue but also because people want to read articles such as "Steal J-Lo's Look.

Arguably more sinister is the diet industry, the "lose-weight-the-easy-way-with¦ business. First they lower your self-esteem by telling you that you are fat. Then they try to sell you a fix for the "weight problem, which may or may not be genuine. (Many celebrities are unnaturally thin.) The irony is that if your self-esteem has been damaged it is much harder to lose weight (or do anything constructive in your life at all) and you are more likely to put on weight in the long run! This is perfect for them, as they can go on selling you "fixes forever: they have turned you into a cash cow¦ in more ways than one!

The celebrity thing is about more than looks, however, it's also about selling the material dream. Celebrities' "wonderful lives, homes, holidays and possessions are regularly before our eyes. We imagine them to be happy, to be what we should aspire to, and we are led to believe that by buying this or that we can get there. We imagine that this is "the norm, the "way to be, so we work longer hours to buy more things, and find we are not happy. Unsurprising, as we can never have enough. In our society we are forever comparing ourselves to those "better off than ourselves, we are always looking up the way, seldom down the way, and are forever insecure and wanting more, more, more¦ Our time passes in working to earn more to buy more, or in watching and reading about celebrities, or in taking alcohol and drugs because we are miserable, or in crime because we want more material goods "to be like them or because we need to feed our addictions¦ We have been turned into zombies, constantly making money for those at the top of the tree.

¦I haven't finished yet, either! Another aspect of the celebrity thing is that we are led to believe that we too can become celebrities. Many youngsters these days apparently believe it is a realistic career option "to become a celebrity by, for example, going on "Big Brother. This is not only false, but it is also dangerous because it stops them applying themselves to acquiring skills that would be more likely to get them jobs. Even the quick routes to celebrity that depend to some extent on skill are accessible only to a very few talented, hard-working and lucky people. The average youngster is probably as likely to win "The X Factor as he or she is to climb Mount Everest or win a significant amount of money in the lottery (which, by the way, is a clever way of taxing the poor, as are many other things¦ but that's another story). (I suppose it doesn't help my argument that my old friend Eileen is about to marry Steve Brookstein, who did win "The X-Factor, but really this is not an achievable ambition for most!)

Furthermore, if one is on this celebrity- and self-obsessed, low-self-esteem, endless, unfulfilling, soul-destroying materialistic treadmill then one will not have any time or energy to watch what the really big guys are doing. (For more about that follow the link in Point 3 below.)

So what's my message for the unhappy girl in The Meadow Bar?

1. I didn't see your face, but my friend says you had absolutely no reason to feel insecure: you are a lovely young woman!

2. Don't let the b*stards get you down! If you must compare yourself to others, try to compare yourself to the people you know personally, not to celebrities. (But remember the words of Desiderata: "¦If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself¦ http://www.fleurdelis.com/desiderata.htm )

3. If you can see how the dots add up in the argument above, you will be able to see how the dots add up in the bigger picture. Come and join the fight: http://hometown.aol.co.uk/rericswan/summary3.html

4. If all else fails, try a makeover: http://www.ivillage.co.uk/beauty/makeover/frontpage (Only kidding on this one!)