A life ended, A war begun. A cataclysmic struggle between good and evil, existence and oblivion in the lands of Afterlife. The Apocalypse of Afterlife begins here. Alice Brure, a new arrival in Afterlife, becomes the prime target of the Revanent Army and the tyrannical Despot who wishes to use her unique immunity to Anti-Life as a catalyst for the Lazarus Mechanism; a machine capable of breaching the walls between the realms of the Ethereal ruled Archives which hold the source of all knowledge. Knowledge that the Despot intends to use for the complete control over Life and Death itself. Trevor Kellman, a notoriously evil soul condemned to No Life, is sent by the mysterious Yama to ensure that Alice is protected from the oncoming onslaught from the Despot and the hideous creatures that inhabit the many perceptions of Heaven and Hell. However, Trevor's ulterior motives may prove to be much, much worse as it becomes more apparent that he may not be entirely human. Who will survive? Will Afterlife endure or fall by Trevor's and Alice's hands? Can they even redeem each other from their sins? As they begin to learn about their dark past and how they are interconnected nothing is what it seems anymore and the fate they share proves to be more horrifying than anyone had originally imagined.
Comments
spartarcad | October 12, 2011 - 21:26
It seems you are very enthusiastic, which must be a good thing. However nothing in it seems in any way 'new'! You have so many clichéd plot structures I would leave it as a short story as it is – it covers every possible base from Harry Potter = (Dark despot of supreme knowledge) to Twilight = (Alice and Trevor). All this is merely suggestions but you did ask!
NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO CARE ABOUT YOUR REQUEST FOR INPUT, EH?
Phrases like "...knowledge that the despot intends to use for complete control over life and death itself..." everyone who is honest will say they have read this basic plot outline before and probably a few times before that.
I find it is best to start with at least two believable characters; anyone can write about a neo-nazi time travelling kangaroo that just wants to be loved!
Allude to your characters angst depth traumas:- incest, failed attempt to save a child, an act of cowardice, mother/father complaint, a romantic betrayal, if you must a failed military mission in which his/her entire squad died and they just don’t think they are up to the job! All this is juicy stuff.
Add some inter character friction and the hurtful resolution of these (plot wise) necessary grievances, add peculiar linguistic and stylistic traits to each character; like have one always half eating an apple or making esoteric references to a subject they are oddly familiar with. Then make them either extremely A) likable B) utterly bastardly as you can manage and wrap them around a thin plot.
You'll find the distinctive nature of the characters will help shape the narrative in unexpected ways, always helps to smack some smut in it! Writes itself after that…
Chinobus | October 13, 2011 - 22:52
Awesome! You just gave me the info I needed. Here are a few spoilers though:
1. Alice and Trevor are twin siblings. After they were separated at birth by their father, they grew up in different environments which caused both of them to turn out in different ways. Trevor is more psychotic not because of his traumatic childhood but by being sent to No Life for a mistake he did not intend to commit. Trevor was then captured when he died by the Archetype Para-Science Division created by Thomas Gauss in which he was experimented on thus creating the plans for the Lazarus Mechanism. Alice, however, is more fanatical than maniacal because she was raised in a very strict religious environment that caused her to become a control freak and an uncompromising "bitch" (pardon language lol). They are searching for Alice because they believe that if they are twin siblings she could have the same immunity to Anti-Life that Trevor has thus amplifying the Machines capabilities to reach planes that they could not reach before; hence the Archives/the web of forbidden realities.
2. The cliched plot with the Despot turns out to be a lie. There is no supreme dictator and Marcus Weinreight (who is there half brother) is in fact the guerrilla leader of the Revenent Army who is the prime catalyst for the war in Afterlife. He was motivated to reunite his shattered family at any costs but by doing so he became a bloodthirsty tyrant even though most of everyone else classifies him as the "hero". His character is important and I did not include him in the summery because it would have made it too complex but now I suppose I should add him for more depth (thank you for that too!)
3. As far as character resolution, the whole novel is exactly about that but it does not become apparent towards the end when they meet their father at the end (Thomas Gauss). Throughout the novel they are pursued by another minor character called Maggots who originally targeted Marcus, Trevor, and Alice however, when he learned about who the siblings father is, it turns out to be his prime mission since he was freed from no life by their mother to kill Thomas Gauss. Schism is about schismatic families or families who are torn apart down to the raw nerve but it also alludes to the schism between those we accept and reject.
I appreciate this advice and I will do what I can to improve on this most wonderful idea! Thanks again!
P.S. I was a bit hammered and depressed when I wrote this so it was not my best effort for a description, sorry! haha but pick these ideas apart and tell me if it sounds to "detailed" or "cliched". I could use a few more to get my muse going again.
spartarcad | October 14, 2011 - 02:18
I like it, see the angst aspect, can't complain there, jesus if it ain't christmas in africa it certainly is not christmas here, understanding your angle now!
Schism - like the family angle, everyone apart from those that don't have families; good market big crowds there!
It comes across as complex, but I think that is a good thing, if people can not be bothered to delve into the narrative they can read corn flakes boxes all morning.
Chinobus | October 14, 2011 - 21:50
Thanks again! By the way, you are officially added to my Acknowledgments section when it gets out. Crap or not haha Yes, it is about families and what happens when faced with a truth one either accepts or turns quite "insane" when these revelations are made. I guess I targeted the Afterlife because its a genre few people ever write about save for certain religious groups who keep it fairly near-sighted and highly opinionated. My take on it is that all forms of heaven and hell exists but like existence there are flaws in the realm of the undead much like the world of the living, save for more "extreme consequences". Rather than being about gods and fate I wanted a story where this whole facade is caused by one families ambitions and actions that have completely set Afterlife into utter chaos. Since I am relatively sober today I am going to revise my summery and throw it out there again. Looking forward to your work too, writing friend!