Breakdown

No likes yet ♦

from the ABC set Short Descriptions of life events

Breakdown
This is a story of boy who desperately wants to grow into the man he thinks everyone wants him to me. He lives life in the shadows of successes and the successes of the others around him. Often times he feels he is inadequate and cannot live up to everyone’s expectations even his own. On a faithful night while building his future all seem to go wrong in one instance. From the troubles at home to the troubles in his own eyesight he could not handle the pressure anymore and he broke down.
He could not take the fact he was being set up for failure in his school system. He could not take the fact his chances of being accepted were slimming as the days and years went on. The fact he could not perform the task that came most naturally to him, the task he is performing at this moment. He truly believed he could not make anyone happy in this world and his mistakes would ultimately be his downfall. The transition from being loved to not love by someone who was always supposed to be there was unbearable. All of this is the cause to the boy’s breakdown.
Getting more in depth to the causes of his breakdown. Growing up where your own mother virtually does not exist, where his father is barely emotionally available to him. He never had anyone to express emotion to, never had a shoulder to cry on. Growing up in bad neighborhoods living in darkness literally and figuratively he could not take bottling his emotions anymore causing him to breakdown.
This is a very short description of the young boy’s breakdown. But the boy emerged from the breakdown a better person. He believes he can succeed and no matter the circumstances. He will be a stronger man and will not be downed easily. The breakdown was a great thing for him and has taught him valuable life lessons he can learn and teach one day. No more sorrow he will just more forward and transcends into the best man he can be.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

Sooz006 | August 1, 2012 - 22:35

On a faithful night while building his future all seem to go wrong in one instance... faithful night? I'd pick another word here or clarify what you mean by faithful. ...all seemed?

He could not take the fact he was being set up for failure... the fact that he was

He could not take the fact his chances of .... the fact that his

The fact he could not perform ... the fact that

loved to not love by someone ...loved.

this is the cause to the boy’s breakdown... of the boy's

he will just more forward and transcends... just move forward and transcend... just be more forward and transcend?

This is a deep and thoughtful soul searching. It could do with an edit and I've put my thoughts above, please, take or leave them as you wish. I'd also watch out for tense changes. I didn't point them out because I wasn't sure which tense you wanted to stick with.

I think there is something in this that almost everybody can associate with. I hope he becomes that better man but doesn't put too much pressure on himself in the becoming.