Loneliness and I

I won. At least i think i did. Its' either that or the other way, my battle with loneliness. I no longer felt the urge for company, i no longer felt the slightest sting when i'm left alone. I only breathe a sigh of relief and independence. Either i won, or i was slowly consumed by loneliness piece and piece, and now i'm completely taken away.

I now find company excess and even bothersome and irritating. When i have company i'd rather feel uncomfortable. I think i've become numb, as a result of being left alone for too long, way too long. I learn to live with it, i learn to tolerate it, perhaps too well.

All my life, there's a occuring theme, perhaps like a series of my dissapointments broken into years with small gaps of happiness in between. All i know is that i'm bound to have to be apart from what i love, whom i love all the time. I'm never where i want to be, i'm never with the ones i love, i'm always apart from them. The torture of being apart from them, slowly breaks my heart and it aches like a froze bite.