In any sane person's mind alarm bells would have rung hearing these words; "You might like to take the hoover with your suitcase in this trolley before you go!
I took one look at the wobbly wooden trolley before declining the owner of the summer house his strange offer. To be honest I had expected a more traditional means of getting to my holiday home in the hills of Budapest. Anything with four wheels,engine,steering wheel and seats fitting the bill nicely.
Still, I reassured myself, it would certainly be different. Footsteps,exited voices and exclamations of "wow, this is nice,look at those comfy beds and the views over to the Danube!" could be heard from the open windows of the holiday villa where I had chosen not to stay with work colleagues.
I followed obediently Dave, from the villa, as my footsteps crunched mile after mile up into the hills anticipating the delights yet to come.
I have always been someone who accepts any meal offered to me, holidays were the same.
At last my shack was in sight. I stood at the top step and gazed across the long grass and down at the hut and stopped dreaming.
A row of dead flies lay sweetly on the dusty window-sill. Buckets,ropes,papers,rags and a ax covered what might have been the bed.
Dirty mugs in the sink; but no water when I tried to turn on the tap.
It didn't take me long, seconds say, to accept the kind offer of the next door-neighbour of this shed; who told us that the water hadn't been turned on for over a year to take us back to the main villa where I would politely decline my dream home.
However, I wasn't prepared, with the words yet to flow from the owners mouth- "I'm sorry your not happy BUT perhaps your standards are just a little to high. What about if I send a cleaner up in the morning for a couple of hours?
"A week wouldn't be enough!" I replied quietly.
My first night in the villa was spent sleeping on a thin mattress on the floor- next to a food cupboard; sleeping adjustments followed the next day when the owners gave up their bedroom for us. I was to share my bed with a work colleague;we put bolster pillows down the centre of the said bed for some sort of privacy.
I have never had to ask for tea-bags or bread or been admonished for taking Baileys into a holiday home before nor spent a day working preparing salads and deserts in a kitchen or route marched everywhere.
I broke rank on the third day and caught a train to Budapest but warned to be back early as they locked the villa doors for safety!