Mrs F*** (remix)

We thought you were a woman
of grace and virtue, epicure
and socialite. We really thought
your thoughts were modest, millefleur.
Most of all we thought of you
as one of us - discreet, demure.
Well! How wrong it seems we were.
You're wicked, Mrs Fuck

To think when we would get together,
natter and sip tea with jasmine,
all your mind was fixed upon
was pouncing on a fleshy javelin!
I shudder when I recollect
that you arrived with features sanguine -
no doubt traipsing more than gravel in,
loathsome Mrs Fuck

And all the times I visited
you at your home, to think that I
was stepping on a sex-stained carpet
probably not one hour dry,
or touched the very ottoman
on which you and your lovers lie!
It's quite enough to make me cry,
you foul wretch, Mrs Fuck

I touched your hand -
now I feel defiled
by a shameful brand.
Who knows what wild
beasts have manned
you, atop you piled?
Do you understand
how you are reviled?
God, what infectious, scabrous diseases
could you have passed
with that hand that pleases
so many husbands,
that eagerly teases
myriad fluids, hungrily squeezes
each drop from their seizures,
Mrs Fuck?

I have been to the church
and consulted the vicar.
I've thrown out my crockery
and burned all my wicker.
And though I confess
I've resorted to liquor,
you're sure to rot quicker,
Mrs Fuck.

I'm sorry for your children -
their mother's a demon,
a double-bad demon,
a demon with cream on!
You're going to hell;
where they'll whip you and feed on
you - one lash for each drop of semen,
Mrs Fuck.

Mrs Fuck
Mrs Fuck
Mrs Fuck
Mrs Fuck
When we heard what you'd been up to
we were thunderstruck!
You've dragged this whole Parish
through a liturgy of muck!
I hope you know I'm clucking
hard as one can cluck!

You're worse than that teacher
who wrote sordid fiction
under an alias -
your sickening addiction
needs to be outlawed -
it's our jurisdiction.
We don't like to have friction,
Mrs Fuck.

Mrs Fuck
Mrs Fuck
You're a chasm of depravity!
I can see you right now
with a man at each cavity.
We know of one incident -
but that's enough, naturally.
One can infer the rest,
Mrs Fuck.