Liar Liar (3rd June 2008, 10.14pm)
If you speak to me,
I will watch your lips moving
and enjoy the shape they make
as you lift and curve your lies
disguised as words of apology;
I always liked your aesthetic
more than your personality,
perched as you were on the boundary
between narcissism and egotism…
It was never about me, was it?
Just a hymn to the ego, composed
as she sang a wordless tune to you
in the midst of her orgasmic throes…
I can feel her in the space between us,
fatly listening, filling in the holes
in conversation with her lustful silences
as you pause to think of her…
If you speak her name,
I will watch your lips forming around
that shape she makes, a silent ‘O’,
as she writhes beneath you
in the images that sail, slow, between us,
standing there in the room I knew
yesterday, as the moment slips away
in which I trusted you.
Comments
Alaw | June 3, 2008 - 22:38
This is lovely. Quite poignant with some realy nice lines. The 'lustful sliences' and 'hymn to the ego' particularly stand out.
jennifer | June 4, 2008 - 21:12
Thank you, Alaw. Quite close to the bone, this one. Isn't it great to get far enough away from emotions this strong to be able to express them? It's only taken a year...
Doeslittle | June 4, 2008 - 22:42
This is my third attmept with internet issues, knackered after parents' evening, to comment on this so I hope it says something about how good I think it is. I like the distance. It seems much more deliberate and careful in your choice of words which, in my opinion, makes it an excellent poem. Love the 'curve of your lies'. Love the last lines. Very good, Seabird. :)
jennifer | June 5, 2008 - 07:15
You have just given me such a lift, DL, sitting here reading this comment. I think that this is one of the best poems I have yet written, my favourite line also being the curving lies line! I appreciate your repeated efforts to comment, thank you!
tcook | June 5, 2008 - 10:50
Even with your good form of late, this is a cracker. It clearly needed to come out!
anipani | June 5, 2008 - 12:19
Taut, controlled, and full of human feeling. this explodes with the authenticity of it's voice. I thought 'fatly listening' was inspired, it conjures up with preciseness the outrage of the poet.
'always liked your aesthetic
more than your personality,
perched as you were on the boundary
between narcissism and egotism'
these lines are so good, they have the distance of time between the pain and the reflection of the pain. I so applaud your writing here, I want to write as well as this too.
sunshine | June 5, 2008 - 20:59
pairs well with 'The Last Lesson' in a way. Love the way it ends. Excellent.
jennifer | June 6, 2008 - 07:22
Thank you, Alaw, Doeslittle, Tony, anipani and sunshine, for the comments that make me light up and, I confess, have made me smirk slightly smugly (what a confession!). This is, in my opinion, the best poem I have yet written, and I did actually spend some time reworking it - my patience is growing, slowly!