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Schneider's First Rank

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Published by jonahs cough on February 13, 2011 - 17:46
from the ABC set And so on...

I turn my ears to newer voices,
I learn the ways of worried men,
And in the sunshine, when life rejoices,
I turn my hands to darker things.
When stiff and stuffed roll in the corpses,
Of old and young forgotten friends,
I turn my ears to newer voices,
I learn the ways of worried men.
Now hurry past the dusty limelight,
And on into a gentler frame,
I've learnt no action has its own mind,
I've found nobody plays to gain.

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Comments

Steve Button | February 13, 2011 - 21:55

This is very good! I like the refrain very much

jonahs cough | February 13, 2011 - 22:01

thanks steve

fatboy74 | February 14, 2011 - 11:49

Agree with Steve.:-)

jonahs cough | February 14, 2011 - 12:19

thanks

insertponceyfre... | February 14, 2011 - 23:13

this has a nice flow to it

jonahs cough | February 14, 2011 - 23:22

thank you once again insertponceyfrenchnamehere

The Big Bad G | February 22, 2011 - 14:07

Quite an entry to ABC, not bad for a week's work. :)

This is my favourite (up to 22/02/11!). It's one of those tropes I can see carrying on for a lot longer if you wanted to run with it - that said, it's finely tuned at this length. 'When stiff and stuffed roll in the corpses' will stick with me.

jonahs cough | February 22, 2011 - 14:38

thanks very much big bad g. glad you enjoyed it. i hadn't thought of extending it though you've now set my juices flowing and i may well play around with a few extra lines. thanks again