1.
Pendulum limbs swing across
a cold bed frame, bones echo over
metal, a bell rings outside, the
disarrayed ant army lines up in
military units. I stretch
my neck for better view barred by
paper maché hands that crunch
across my forehead. The interior
brain beats a deep throb not unlike
my mother’s fist against the
bathroom door:
open-up, open-up, open-up
I can’t remember the last time
I didn't feel this or see this
blue-green kaleidoscopic vision:
bottles and pills and boxes of
bandages hovering above
my head.
I’m not afraid to die, the woman in
white tells me I will if I don’t stop
but what is stopping and how is it better than dying and I don’t know how to stop and I don’t want to and I don’t see why anyone would care because I’m just this thing taking up space, hogging air, hogging life, hogging space and space and
Her eyebrow creeps up into
a sharp black hook, another
bell rings – I slide out the room.
I’m not afraid to die.
2.
Let me tell you about my fantasy:
I’m floating, I’ve cut the cord, a flying
fetus, a forgotten cosmonaut
abandoned in a caramel Galaxy
chewing at the atmosphere.
Let me tell you about my other fantasy:
I’m Captain Cadbury sailing across
the sheets, beneath me lies a coco
goldmine buried under lopsided
panels, I straddle the pillow and ride
a foaming wave towards –
I made this room
for you to love me
I made this room
for you to love me
I’ve never felt more alone
The darkness tells me it’s late and
the darkness tells me it will be here
soon when it becomes me, crawling
out of my throat, opening up my
chest with scratchy nails and a
greedy tongue
there will be no going back.
3.
I sip tea and spit it out
I pick cuticles and wait
only three more hours of
this shit. Listening to your
stories and jokes and pokes at
my condition, well Grandma
says it’s a sin.
You know in Africa children are starving
Yes I know Grandma
A fucking waste of space that’s what you are
Yes I know Grandma
4.
He nibbles my ear and pokes a tongue in
my eye, his nose vacuums fluff from the skin
of my neck. I moan a low humming sound
and gaze across my postered walls of bands
I’ve stopped listening to of slogans I
can’t relate to because everything is
different now and I mourn over our
revolutionless world as his tongue digs
deeper and deeper and
I would like to say something meaningful
but I don’t know how.
Comments
pinda | November 24, 2010 - 20:15
Maggyvaneijk, you've done a great job with this. I especially love the way you've layed it out and you def. deserved those cherries.
SundaysChild | November 24, 2010 - 21:19
Superb.
maggyvaneijk | November 24, 2010 - 23:03
thank you both!
fatboy74 | November 24, 2010 - 23:15
I just love these poems of yours Maggy - they feel very real, poetry as social commentary in a way, but never losing its lyrical appeal or trying to hammer the message home. My favourite part of many is:
I made this room
for you to love me
I made this room
for you to love me
I’ve never felt more alone
Very well done. :-)
maggyvaneijk | November 25, 2010 - 00:06
thanks, that really means a lot.
MistakenMagic | November 25, 2010 - 14:15
I'm really enjoying this intriguing sequence, Maggy! You capture the defiance and also helplessness of the narrator so brilliantly. Well done on a well-deserved cherry :)
Magic xxx
luigi_pagano | November 25, 2010 - 19:11
Superb, Maggy, but there are two small points I'd like you to clarify for me. Did you mean to say 'paper maché' rather than papier-mâché and 'a coco goldmine' instead of a cocoa goldmine?
I like the opening stanza very much and the whole poem is exquisite; you have said something meaningful.
Luigi x
tcook | November 26, 2010 - 21:25
This is not only our Poem of the Week but also our Facebook and Twitter pick of the day.
Join us on Facebook at ABCtales.com
Join us on Twitter @tcookabctales
Get a great reading recommendation most days.
kheldar | November 26, 2010 - 21:54
very powerful, clever use of imagery and language, and deserving of POW and POD. Good on you girl!!!!
:--) xxx
JoseHdz | November 27, 2010 - 18:56
the last line is great/ and very meaningful i might add..
cheers
shoe | November 30, 2010 - 17:29
I think this may be my favourite of your "diary of" poems, for all the reasons already said, superb.
ScribbleScribe | December 5, 2010 - 06:14
I just wanted to tell you thank you for the comment on my poem. I hadn't seen it until now. :)
Sophia Grace
mcmanaman | March 9, 2011 - 17:27
Really enjoying these poems, lovely rhythms and images and ideas.
Nathan Bednarek | May 17, 2011 - 22:53
"Let me tell you about my fantasy:
I’m floating, I’ve cut the cord, a flying
fetus, a forgotten cosmonaut
abandoned in a caramel Galaxy
chewing at the atmosphere."
I think all of us can relate to your work. The above stanza very much defines something I've been going through a long time ago, when things in my life looked very bleak...
Another gem of a poem. Well done.
Nathan x
kirincnj | November 24, 2011 - 11:17
'I made this room
for you to love me
I made this room
for you to love me
I’ve never felt more alone'
'I would like to say something meaningful
but I don’t know how.'
Chuck Klosterman once described Billy Joel's music as 'like the way it feels when you're being hugged by someone and it somehow makes you sadder.'
I feel that way when I read your stuff a lot, and I mean that in the most complimentary way.
maggyvaneijk | November 24, 2011 - 11:31
Thanks, your comment means a hell of a lot.