I hope you want to listen
before I get it wrong
this typewritten song
banged out by me.
The melody is pretty
I promise, because you are
and I know you like
pretty things.
The notes are dark and low like
your raven hair and how it
trails down
where I like to take hold.
At times my voice, soft and unsure
escalates into a screech
like a peace protest
turning into war.
When you find out
I cry all the time
and I have bad breath:
you will turn around
and I’ll be on my own
not knowing how to obliterate
the image of you
from my mind.
I might write another song
in between gulps of beer and stale
kisses from strange men because
I do that when I’m sad.
And the television set
in my chest will emanate
a frosty glow.
Playing repeats of loveless scenes
playing repeats of
Comments
sid | August 3, 2012 - 17:31
I love this poem so much! The voice is so endearing and the final line breaking off works really well. I am well jel of your talent!
'When you find out
I cry all the time
and I have bad breath:
you will turn around
and I’ll be on my own'- favourite bit :D
Parson Thru | August 3, 2012 - 20:53
Heartbreaking Maggy. Stripped-down and honest. I like the theme you have used to convey it.
maggyvaneijk | August 3, 2012 - 21:53
Thanks Sid, I refuse to accept your jealousy, your talent is too great for that!
Thanks for your kind comment as always Parson!
shoe | August 4, 2012 - 19:10
So wistfully beautiful, such a delicate touch, yet searingly sad, sheer class.
hudsonmoon | August 5, 2012 - 15:39
I might write another song
in between gulps of beer and stale
kisses from strange men because
I do that when I’m sad.
I'm loving this, Maggy. What an inspired piece of writing. You didn't miss a beat, dear girl.
Rich
kirincnj | August 7, 2012 - 00:13
Read in a dimly lit bar, and every line was savored. Wonderful, as always.
maggyvaneijk | August 9, 2012 - 00:48
thanks guys. Nick sounds like an awesome place to be.
MistakenMagic | August 12, 2012 - 20:18
Those final three stanzas are just perfection - so many beautiful images, especially the television in the chest. Love the ending too. Well done on the cherries!
Magic xxx
Nathan Bednarek | August 17, 2012 - 14:38
"At times my voice, soft and unsure
escalates into a screech
like a peace protest
turning into war."
Love this. Just purely amazing. Your work really inspires me to continue developing my writing...
It's been a long time. I'm going to work hard to get myself going again on abctales and reading tgrough some of your work motivated me to do so.
I left you comments on almost all of your work that I didn't yet read since late 2011.
Thank you for helping me to pump some blood into my poetic heart ;)
Nathan.
Richard L. Prov... | October 2, 2012 - 14:21
maggyv... A poem that richochets with emotion, and such heartfelt words. Indeed, a pleasure to read. Richard LP
scratch | October 4, 2012 - 14:20
Sorry I'm late onto this Maggie. All the complimentary posts above are well deserved. Add one from me as well.