Ambition is like a bumbling tourist guide
you have no idea where it will take you.
'Follow me!' he says, waving an umbrella in the air
and we all walk behind in good faith
'I'm pretty sure I know where I'm going' he says
leading us from the main road
through to a residential area where a lady pegs out her washing
a man watering his plants eyes us with suspicion.
'Maybe this isn't the right way' our guide whispers
'but I'm pretty sure if we take a shortcut through this field ...'
and so we follow. The man next to me tells me
he was almost an airline pilot
as we roll up our trouser legs and wade through a swamp
but he failed the final exam.
We end up at a disused railway station.
'Dead end' our guide says, starting to get flustered.
A Japanese tourist puts the lens cap back on his camera.
We keep walking and our guide can't stop apologising
saying he is so embarassed.
'I'll go and ask the man in the shop' he says
and the rest of us sit in a park and wait.
We talk about things we hope we'll live to see
Prince Harry as king, the new Blur album
a black Chancellor of the Exchequer.
A girl tells me she was runner up in the UK Speedway Championship
three years in a row
but she had to quit when she was diagnosed with epilepsy
she shows me the medals round her neck.
Our tourist guide comes back
hands out sandwiches he's bought for everyone
we have to explain that quite a few people have left
saying they prefered to brave it on their own.
The rest of us sit in the park and eat
admiring the view from the top of the hill
and then carry on walking until we reach
an industrial estate. PC World. Carphone Warehouse.
'Why are you still folling me?'
the tourist guide asks, perplexed.
I'm the only one left. It's a bit awkward.
'It's too late to turn back now' I say.
'Where are we going next?'