I've been here so long, I forget myself.
But Jacqueline, my favourite nurse,
always reminds me. I forget why I'm here ...
so I dream, and remember.
I came home from school one day,
found my mother - a choker made of rope
around her neck. It matched the straw pearls
of her Jewish eyes. The holocaust the cause.
My stepfather said I was to blame -
damned my father's true-blue eyes
that shone from my face.
When I first arrived here, I used a chair leg
to smash a light bulb -
tried to electrocute myself with a stolen fork.
They took my chair after that.
I sat on the floor, but Jacqueline
brought cushions.
Because she says I'm harmless.
One day I got bored.
Tried to slash my wrists with letters
I'd received. Paper cuts wouldn't suffice.
They took my mail after that.
I was lonely, but Jacqueline came at night
with my letters - read them to me.
Because she says I'm harmless.
I behaved myself for months
and was allowed some acrylics and canvas.
After I painted over the security camera,
tried to hang myself with my bed sheets.
They took my duvet after that.
I was cold. But Jacqueline brought
some secret blankets.
Because she says I'm harmless.
Wish I could stop dreaming though ...
About Jacqueline and chokers
made of rope.
Comments
Nathan Bednarek | March 18, 2009 - 18:01
This is so haunting, but not in an obvious sense, if you know what I mean. The poem transforms itself into many shapes and forms throughout and it feels like it's telling you a story without an ending, as if there was something else in the background.
This is a wonderful read. Well done as always!
Nathan xox
MistakenMagic | March 18, 2009 - 20:24
Thank you so much Nathan. This is another example of an experiment and stepping out of my comfort zone so I'm glad you like it :)
Magic xxx
Silver Spun Sand | March 18, 2009 - 22:41
Magic - you never cease to amaze me. Yes, you did find your comfort zone, but you chose to move on. Experiment with new things. This is hard to do, at whatever point of the spectrum we find ourselves.
No gain without strain, don't they say? Well, personally speaking, I can only say, your strain is my reward.
A brave poem, from many aspects. Well written and well said.
Tina xxx
jennifer | March 19, 2009 - 13:34
Yes, brave topic, well tackled.
The repetition of 'Jacqueline' is childlike and adds to the effect of the disturbed mind of the persona, well done!
J x
threeleafshamrock | March 19, 2009 - 13:53
Wow! Scarily into Jack Nicholson territory; could this be the Cuckoo's nest that he flew over? Brilliant and insightful; what an imagination! Move over Stephen King, Magic's here!
Chris XX
MistakenMagic | March 19, 2009 - 16:31
Thank you Jen and Chris! But my imagination does scare me - no idea what distrubring dream fuelled this one ;)
Magic xxx
Curse of 222 | March 22, 2009 - 00:27
this is the first poem of yours that i've read and i am impressed. i whole-heartedly agree with all the previous comments. child-like and disturbed...it's like a nightmare with a teddybear as the monster. i'm gonna go read more now...
jason
MistakenMagic | March 22, 2009 - 12:45
Thank you Jason! Your comments have really made my day ;)
Magic xxx
Curse of 222 | March 24, 2009 - 00:28
i'm glad i could do that for you.
jason
Caolan_le_Paddy | March 26, 2009 - 13:12
I like it, it's a very chilling and haunting read. Like you're being watched but you think no ones there. Dark and mysterious, I love it! I look forward to reading more of your work :)