A Little Dream of Me

Magic -loved the end stanza, very liberating - liked the set up of loss, pillows 'pale with grief', 'You sit on the floorboards..', 'i coax daydreams..', like the stubble and snores too -although i didn't understand 'across their welcoming bellies' as an image which has puzzled me! Last stanza, super! :))

Thank you for your review ld :) The idea of the snores across welcoming bellies was just a another bit of personification of the pillows and reference to the once favourite position of mine where I used to rest my head on my boyfriend's belly.

I always seem to follow ld where your poems are concerned, Magic. Great minds, possibly.

I agree with her every word ... although I think I had second-guessed the belly bit:-)

My favourite lines:-

"I coax the daydreams from the cracks
and hollows of the walls.
May they cover you like blankets."

Tina xxx

ah! right, der to me, sorry! For those who need a bit more guidance, ie, me, i fiddled, idea only as you may find it too... - howsabout this?

A Little Dream of Me

I find myself cradling the pillows;
they are pale with grief.
They miss the way his snores sent
waves across their welcoming bellies,
the caress of his hair,
the brush of his stubble,
and You sit on the floorboards of my mind
and examine your fingernails.
I coax the daydreams from the cracks
and hollows of the walls.
May they cover you like blankets.
May they fade and fray your edges.

Back then, I didn’t know
years later we would collide
in a crowded street,
you would fall at my feet,
and I would look up
and breath in the sky.

Thank you so much for the suggestion ld and I really do appreciate your feedback, however, I feel the cherry speaks for itself ;) And I'm sure that in future if anyone has any queries your version in your comment will help them out!

Cheers,

Magic xxx

wow Magic,you are sprinkling your magic into every word you write!this is absolutely fantastic!
I hope you are well,but I sense you are twinkle!
love from lynne.xxxxxx

This is brilliant. Everything about it eminates control and thoughtful structure, i love how the room becomes personified in memories and every object is alive (:

Very well done lovely.

XInspiredWriter

My this is an oldie! Thanks for commenting InspiredWriter! Glad you enjoyed ;)

Magic xxx