Freedom

You write well. In any work aim to make your poem immediate, as if it is happening right now. There are times to kind of remember the past, and yet by making it come to life as if your eyes are enjoying the moment, it creates an immediate impact with your reader. Just saying... Richard LP
(I hope you don't mind my suggesting line changes to create the present---You, the writer decide finales. Cheers.

finding the right words

then I remember Freedom is

deciding to say it straight

ready to begin

Entity of Goodness allowing

Good Luck in the competition Prettyrose-
this is a nice reminder of how good we can be towards each other. Thank you for the read.

;)Pia

Hi Richard :) Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

Thank you also for saying 'I write well' I think I write reality and from the heart and most times I try or hope to make people smile, but the jury is still out on good lol but I do appreciate what you said.

I do not mind any suggestions and I did originally put remember rather than remembered, which I may change back thinking on that,and change goodness from good which is a good suggestion thank you, however the rest I may stay the same, I aimed to get a message across, and for me even if one person was not judgmental for one hour after reading my poem I'm happy,rather than thinking about bringing this particular one to life. But for many pieces that would be more suited which is a very valid point, which I will remember Richard :).

Keep Writing
Keep Smiling :)

Hi Pia :) I hope your not to bad :))

Thank you so much for your lovely comment, it means a lot.

take care

Keep Writing
Keep Smiling :)))

Trish :)))

Sorry Pia lol

I also meant to say, thank you for wishing me good luck, that also means alot.

But I need every bit of luck, lol as there are a lot of brilliant writers on here (which I am not lol) on here, but as long as I hopefully get my message across and people at least think about what they may say or do to even one person they next see, then iv won to me :))))

new Prettyrose
hello! hope you are improving.
What! a good way of explaining.
Like last stanza.
So find we find ourselves
Ready to shout out our own,
Judgemental thoughts
Remember we all have
a heart that can bleed
great and true message I know.
"spread a little happiness!" song.
Good luck with the competition to.
julie xx

A beautiful, honest piece, prettyrose. That last line is brilliant, and so true!

Magic xxx

Hi Julie :) Thank you for asking, Not a great day to day more ways than one, but coming on here reading these lovely comments have really cheered me up so thank you and I hope your ok!!!

I love the last few lines the best to and thank you for reading and commenting, means a lot. And your good wishes for the comp.

Keep Writing
Keep Smiling :)))

Trish xx

Hi Magic :) I hope your well too :)

Thank you very much for your lovely comment which really with the others cheered me up to day and I was a taken back by what you said, even if the last lines were the only bit you really liked i appreciate it. :)

Keep Writing
Keep Smiling :))