No words can express the love
I feel when I'm with, or the Magic
Memories of so much fun we have
had over the 34 years we've shared,
Even the tears made me smile, because
At least we could do it together.
But these days my heart is also filled
With so much pain of loneliness, even when
You sit beside me daily.From the time
I have too help you dress till the time I help
Your too wheelchair.
I pick up my car keys, sighing because I know the
Journey is over 15 miles, before we reach
The nearest day care center that gives me
One afternoon's break, in a week.
Or for the 2 hours drive every other
Day too your hospital or doctors appointments.
Even when we have our son and his family
Over for Sunday roast I feel so overwhelmed
and unable to share my unhappiness.
I feel so guilty for dreaming of a another life
Something different than this,I remember our plans
Of owning a small farm in Spain,
We always worked Hard,so hopefully
We could enjoy our last few years
Relaxing while we still had our Good health.
I even start laughing because I see
Us rowing in my 'awake' dream,over why
We Shouldn't open your favorite bottle of wine,
Viña Sastre Crianza,which you never opened as it
Was the most expensive wine you had ever owned
Which was given you for your 30 years in the police
Then you wake and call for help with toilet needs
or you want your food. and I am suddenly brought
Firmly back to earth with a realistic bang.