Punarvasu

By Raventongue

Tue, 20 Mar 2012

784 reads

4 comments

THERE WILL COME A TIME
When I ride in on the storm clouds
When I am flanked on three sides by allies
And you will see our shadows descending
You will no longer know me
By my name
And you will call me "Night",
For night is my time;
In the spaces between days,
When the omega is alpha

I KNOW THE SECRETS
Of the moon, for she whispers them to me
In the evening breeze cooling your lungs
I know the song of the night beasts
I know magic, and secrets, and how to bring light
As the storm comes with lightning I come
Bearing the lantern
I call the sun and stars and they hear me
I speak with the moon in holy hushed breaths

I COOL FRENZIES
I revive the weary
I am a messenger,
A marksman
I am night

AND WHEN THE RAIN IS OVER
And the sun parts the clouds
I will know you have heard me in the soft susurrus at the start
I will see you enlightened
And you will stand naked, drenched, arms spread to the sky
You will have been purified, renewed
You will have been immersed

THE ILLUMINATION IS COMING
A revelation is coming
A revolution is coming
Elucidation is coming
An evolution is coming
The resolution is coming

Certificate PG

Poem

Three Kinds of Heart Poems

Nature

Comments

I really love this kind of

Permalink Submitted by Anvar2 on Wed, 2012-03-21 14:16

I really love this kind of poem - powerful mythic imagery, ambiguous but potent. I wonder if the last stanza would be even more powerful with fewer lines. Not certain, but 4 lines rather than 6 could hit harder. Also, I would love it if the first line of each stanza came together at the end to form the last stanza. By marking them out in Caps, you're suggesting (to me at least) that these lines should be read together. Really enjoyed this, thank you for sharing!

Thank you, my friend. I

Permalink Submitted by Raventongue on Wed, 2012-03-21 15:19

Thank you, my friend. I hadn't thought of how best to make changes to this, but now that you bring them up I'll have fun taking the cut and paste buttons to it to see what I can come out with. I'm awfully glad that you enjoyed it. It's always harder for me to share older poetry because the length of time and learning usually means there's a notable difference in quality from the new stuff, whereas I hash and rehash my prose so much that (it seems like) the age of the original draft hardly hurts it.

I especially loved this: I

Permalink Submitted by hudsonmoon on Wed, 2012-03-21 15:05

I especially loved this: I COOL FRENZIES I revive the weary I am a messenger, A marksman I am night Has a soothing feel to it. Rich

Thanks hudson- I'm quite

Permalink Submitted by Raventongue on Wed, 2012-03-21 15:22

Thanks hudson- I'm quite glad that that particular stanza came across as intended, as it's one I consider pivotal to the whole poem.