Resting for a while on the plain they call the Sea of Tranquillity, I dug my toes into the moon dust and sat there, gazing up at the Earth as it hung over the jagged horizon. I watched the whorls of cloud drifting slowly over its surface and imagined all the lives lived out beneath. I could identify some of the land masses and tried to locate the place I once called home – remembering the dark pine forests and my grandfather’s cabin where I had first looked up at the stars and realised I could reach them.
I felt the soft vibrations of footfalls and glanced around to see one of the detachment commanders standing over me. The lights from his ship glistened on the moon’s surface. I remained seated.
‘You took your time,’ he said. ‘We thought we’d lost you.’
‘I improvised,’ I replied, shrugging.
‘Improvised? You took out our mother ship at Rhea.’
‘It was the way things were going. They have to trust me.’
‘So what about the bargain? Will we have her?’
I thought about Lily following her longer route through the darkness; I thought of her plan and my part in it.
‘Yes, she’ll come.’
Comments
jennifer | November 10, 2010 - 07:50
The imagery here:
' I watched the whorls of cloud drifting slowly over its surface and imagined all the lives lived out beneath. ' is really lovely -in fact, the whole first paragraph is. It's one of those stories where the writing is so great it doesn't matter that it's a space story (which is why I love Douglas Adams!)
J x
insertponceyfre... | November 10, 2010 - 11:29
I totally agree with Jennifer. I don't like space stories either, but it doesn't matter with these. Good place to end it on!
fatboy74 | November 11, 2010 - 01:50
Completely agree with Insert and Jennifer, I also am not a fan of science fiction - or things set in space - but good writing is good writing and it is testament to what you are doing that three spacephobics are avidly following. Well done Rob.
rjnewlyn | November 12, 2010 - 01:47
Thanks very much Jennifer and Insert and Fatboy. I'm very glad it hasn't put you off! I don't mind SF and like some of it, but can't say I'm a dyed-in-the-wool fan and the aim here was to try not to write in that way. If this was a novel, I suppose I'd be forced to explain how people can zip between planets having conversations without breathing apparatus etc, but the joy of short fiction is not needing to be bothered with that. I'm pleased it works for you.
And thanks very much for the cherry
Rob
MistakenMagic | November 12, 2010 - 11:21
I agree with Jennifer - that first paragraph is absolutely stunning! And those final exchanges between characters are wonderfully ominous. Well done on the cherry! :)
Magic xxx
rjnewlyn | November 12, 2010 - 14:30
Thanks very much Magic - that's very kind of you! Thanks for reading.
Rob
Silver Spun Sand | November 14, 2010 - 16:38
Woops - missed this one, Rob. I'm sorry;-)
Not much more to add except I enjoyed this one very much.
The names of the 'seas' on the moon have always captured my imagination. Sea of Showers, Sea of Nectar, Sea of Serenity, etc. etc. and of course, Tranquility.
Tina
rjnewlyn | November 15, 2010 - 17:22
Many thanks Tina. Yes, I love the idea that people once thought that's what they were - much more interesting than dustbowls.
Rob
Sooz006 | May 12, 2012 - 23:21
Make that four avid spaceaphobics. Us wimmins are so sissy when it comes to boys toys.
rjnewlyn | May 13, 2012 - 13:11
Fair enough. But why should they be boys' toys?