I don’t know what it was;
the age-gap thing, perhaps...
my prudishness...Sheer stupidity,
when I look back now – rain
deluging the windows, in this
crap flat of mine.
All it would have taken – a quick
look at you...that way. A brush
of my hand with yours.
You’d dropped a hint you were free
to stay, when you dropped me back
at my place, after that fruitless
business trip to Scotland. A waste
of time...if not for this.
I could have blossomed for you;
unfurled like a custard-cupped,
Chinese Peony, or an Adonis Blue
breaking free from its shell...
Could have settled, breathless,
and panting, on your palm
with quivering wings, and you
could have taught me to fly....
Or, better still, I could have
just asked you to fuck me, right
then and there. Why didn’t I?
Because girls like me wouldn’t
ever dream of saying the ‘F’ word.
But if I had...on that lonely,
mountain road...after, we could
have walked the beauty of Loch Tay;
let it ramble on, way ahead of us...
off the lead...and more likely,
as not, to go astray.
Comments
skinner_jennifer | September 28, 2011 - 20:22
Hi Tina,
I wonder how many of us have been in that situation,
of not knowing whether to go all the way with a guy,
when we were younger, it's a case of either being
sensible or taking the moment and going with it, I
know I've been there before.
I love your take on this subject in your poem,
it's all about the 'what if I do this, will I regret
it later.'
Well this is how I read it anyway.
Thankyou for sharing your poem.
Jenny.
Silver Spun Sand | September 29, 2011 - 10:57
It sure is all about the 'what ifs ' and 'if onlys', as all too often in life.
Pleased you enjoyed and many thanks for your lovely comment;-)
Tina
fatboy74 | September 29, 2011 - 16:52
I like the change of tone about three quarters through - the experienced mind taking over from the innocent and the regret. Well done Tina. :-)
SundaysChild | September 29, 2011 - 17:01
Excellent Tina x
Silver Spun Sand | September 29, 2011 - 19:12
Thanks, fb;-) More than appreciated.
Tina;-)
Silver Spun Sand | September 29, 2011 - 19:13
Hi there, Sunday's. Pleased you enjoyed and many thanks for letting me know.
Tina ;-)x
rjnewlyn | September 29, 2011 - 23:54
Amazing - it's like an entire movie wrapped up in a few lines. Feels like Celia Johnson and Trevor Howard all over again (except she wouldn't even have thought the f-word).
Rob
L G Meadows | September 30, 2011 - 08:43
All the old double standard.. wants and needs.. summed up nicely. A good read.
Silver Spun Sand | September 30, 2011 - 08:44
You're probably right there, Rob:-) But don't you just love those old movies?
Many thanks, and have a good weekend.
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | September 30, 2011 - 08:45
And I think your words sum things up admirably too, LG. Thank you for them, and I'm glad you enjoyed.
Tina;-)
Overthetop1 | September 30, 2011 - 18:50
This is great. I loved it. There is so mush to it, and i think women, in particular, can really identify with the sentiments you express so very well. When I was young feminism had really taken a hold, even so, for a while, I too was a terrible prude. But then I did start to think that you only live once, and it's the things you haven't done that you regret in later life, so I started to carpe diem, and quite a few men! There's a few I regret, but hardly any! When I met the right person, I was glad I had experienced what I had, because it made what I had found that much sweeter. I'll stop waffling now!
Silver Spun Sand | September 30, 2011 - 19:07
You waffle on, OTT, and thank you for it;-) Many women, I feel, will be able to identify with this, to a greater or lesser degree. It's been good hearing your thoughts, and thanks again for sharing.
Tina
ScoZen | October 3, 2011 - 17:57
"...business trip to Scotland..."
Loch Tay does that to people dear sand lady.
Silver Spun Sand | October 3, 2011 - 19:28
Och ay, I guess it does;-)
Many thanks, ScoZen.
Sand Lady