At this time of day – midway
between two lights, I watch
archipelagos of grizzled clouds
fret a sullen sky.
The wind from the north
blows cold – birds arrow
from branch to branch
of a holly-tree...
I stand at my backdoor
looking onward...across
the corrugated fields –
and you are there...
a lone, white hood –
head bowed in prayer
beneath a row of five
copper beeches...
Nothing but a refugee
I’ve become here now –
my empire turned to ash.
Pockets full of ‘if onlys’,
an old, leather trunk, stuffed
to overflowing with beaches
and ships that didn’t come in...
voices, preserved in sand.
Comments
scratch | November 29, 2011 - 19:54
Silver, This is one of those that I will read again and again. When I have contextualised (in my own way) I will try to post some more helpfull feedback.
Corrugated fields - lovely.
Silver Spun Sand | November 29, 2011 - 20:25
Thanks, scratch...pleased it pleased you so much;-)
Silver;-)
Daniel Saint-John | November 29, 2011 - 20:44
Great poem. Makes me long for something, though I can't name it.
I think it is a poem conveying powerful images.
Excelsior!
Highhat | November 29, 2011 - 20:56
Every line is perfect Tina,packed with beautifully mournful,desolate images. loved the "grizzled clouds.."
Very poignant.
;)Pia
seashore | November 30, 2011 - 09:14
I can relate to this on several levels but can't sort my brain out to simplify my personal clutter in the way you have here.
One of your many best, Tina.
Coral x
shoe | November 30, 2011 - 11:13
That opening verse is exquisite, and the whole poem is full of desolate images that invite the reader to interpret them as they will.
Silver Spun Sand | November 30, 2011 - 12:40
Glad it did something for you, Daniel...if you could only think of what it was;-)
Seriously though, many thanks for your lovely comment.
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | November 30, 2011 - 12:41
Thanks, Pia...very much. Pleased you liked;-)
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | November 30, 2011 - 12:42
Sorting one's brain out is sure not easy, and that's a fact;-)
Pleased you enjoyed, Coral, and many thanks.
Tina x
Silver Spun Sand | November 30, 2011 - 12:43
Thank you, Shirley;-)
Have a sunny Wednesday.
Tina
skinner_jennifer | November 30, 2011 - 19:54
Hi Tina,
had to look up that word archipelagos, as I'd never
heard of it before, it describes a group of Islands.
I think that's a wonderful way to describe the clouds, in your poem. I really loved the way you set
the scene, with your vision from your back door.
Simply beautiful.
Jenny.
sue dinum | November 30, 2011 - 21:04
Agree with all the above. Well done, Tina, you cracked it again.
sue
london_calling79 | November 30, 2011 - 21:43
Your verb use in the first few stanzas is excellent. 'Fret' especially.
scratch | November 30, 2011 - 21:46
Good comment London.
Silver Spun Sand | November 30, 2011 - 22:52
Many thanks, Jenny,for your lovely words. Almost poetry in themselves;-)
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | November 30, 2011 - 22:53
Thanks, sue for your 'cracking' comment;-)
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | November 30, 2011 - 22:54
Pleased you thought so, london;-) Thank you for taking the trouble to tell me. More than appreciated.
Tina
oldpesky | November 30, 2011 - 23:27
This is so good i don't know what to write, so I'm just going to copy your own words...
'an old, leather trunk, stuffed
to overflowing with beaches
and ships that didn’t come in...
voices, preserved in sand.'
...and smile a lot.
fatboy74 | December 1, 2011 - 11:25
A wonderful poem sorry i'm so late. :-)
Silver Spun Sand | December 1, 2011 - 12:30
Nobody says it quite the way you do, op;-) Many thanks.
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | December 1, 2011 - 12:31
Thanks, fb and better late than never, so they say;-)
Tina
Arthur Ray | December 1, 2011 - 16:26
oooooohhhh wonderfully wondrous poetry, what a joy. Thanks for the comment the other week by the way, it means a lot that someone who writes poetry this great enjoys my own. What a way with words you have, Tina.
Silver Spun Sand | December 1, 2011 - 16:55
Thanks for that, Arthur;-) Much appreciated.
Tina