Him on his bike – me on mine,
we cycled round Loch Awe;
the curlew with its plaintive song,
beguiled us from the shore.
As youngsters do, we’d chat for hours
of the many things we planned;
I’d be a vet when I grew up –
him – a pilot like his dad.
The years went by and I lost touch
with my onetime childhood friend,
my roots so deeply planted
in the heather neath the ben.
I married, raised a family –
kept goats, and sheep, and hens;
bought a tiny crofter’s cottage
with a whitewashed picket fence
where my children played the days away
just as he and I before
on the sandbanks and the shingle
that skirted old Loch Awe.
As the guns of war drew ever close,
got to wondering where he’d be.
Was his head still up there in the clouds
or had he compromised like me?
So many hopes had turned to dust
since that far-off summertime,
when skies were of the bluest blue
and the sun would ever shine.
Autumn turned to winter
as I heard a piper play,
and on the banks of old Loch Awe
I stood and wept that day.
I picked a sprig of heather,
then watched it float away
to mingle with his ashes
in the loch where lay his plane.
Comments
jolono | July 30, 2012 - 07:58
A great story within a lovely poem Tina.
Rhiannonw | July 30, 2012 - 09:13
Poignant and gentle. Rhiannon
skinner_jennifer | July 30, 2012 - 11:16
Hi Tina,
I love the way each stanza captures a different
moment in time, from the pleasures of childhood,
to the moving on with life and growing up, to the
sad ending.
This poem flows so well, with each stanza telling
a different part of their lives.
Really well put together and there was some good
rhythm and rhyme in this one.
Also I loved the title it really worked.
Jenny.
Silver Spun Sand | July 30, 2012 - 20:17
Thank you, jolono...very much. This poem was a long time in the writing and your words mean a lot;-)
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | July 30, 2012 - 20:17
Many thanks, Rhiannon. I am so pleased you found it so.
Tina
Silver Spun Sand | July 30, 2012 - 20:18
Thanks, Jenny. This was one of those poems that took so much hard work, and it really is wonderful that it finally paid off;-)
hudsonmoon | August 1, 2012 - 14:45
Wonderful, Tina. Making it look easy is hard work. I enjoyed this very much.
Rich
Silver Spun Sand | August 1, 2012 - 15:26
Thanks, Rich...and I know, only too well, what you mean;-)
Tina
Nathan Bednarek | August 31, 2012 - 15:34
"Was his head still up there in the clouds
or had he compromised like me?"
I love how these lines convey a sense of guilt and almost place it on the reader, weighing down on his/her shoulders. Makes one live the poem as if this was one's own life. Also the last stanza is particularly poignant.
A much deserved cherry.
Nathan ;)
Silver Spun Sand | August 31, 2012 - 16:04
Thanks, Nathan;-)
This poem was about five years in the writing, it you would believe it and it's comments like yours, make it more than worthwhile.
Tina