Cherry Red

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from the ABC set Writing 2011

I’m talking about the child, not about the war.
It could have been any conflict at my door, or your door.
Cambodia or Lebannon, seals or oil, or land
I’m talking about the child with a grenade in her hand
I’m talking about her hair that bronzed magma in the sun
Not about the contortion of her face when the shout went up to ‘run’
She was six or seven… or fifteen or nine
She wore shoes or was barefoot when she stepped on the mine.
She wore a blue dress, or was naked, she worked paddy fields or learned
But poems and twee rhymes are shite
And pointless
And futile
And obscene
And wasted words as this child burns
So cut the crap
And the cat mat verse
The counting of syllables to fit neat and perfectly right
The slurry of purple prose as the poet feeling clever
Makes this match
Or that match
Who lit the match or pulled the pin or fired the gun
Or came to win or die or live
Go wildly offit into rant and ramble
Random and lawless
Like war.
Why not a picture instead to paint in your mind
Not your head
Which could have rhymed with instead
In your mind
In your eyes
In your graveyard on an easel of black marble
You’re scared of war
Admit it
Your’re scared of bringing it home
It’s not yours it’s not here
It’s in Taiwan or Tibet
Or in sixteen hundred and eighty three
Remember the child
The little girl
With a name that means nothing to you
She is called Kers
Picked by papa
It translates to cherry
He calls her Kers Rooi
Cherry Red
Because her hair is bronzed in the sun like magma
She likes to pull her papa’s beard
And picks up things to play with
Pebbles and paper and shells and grenades
She turned seven and will be eight
Or would if she wasn’t Cherry Red
Because Cherry Red is dead

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

seashore | January 20, 2011 - 12:34

Strong stuff - very good. Great ending.

Sooz006 | January 20, 2011 - 16:22

Thank you Sea. Poetry really `aint my thing as you can see by the way I got pissed off with myself part way through.

rjnewlyn | January 21, 2011 - 00:41

I think it works well. A feeling of something spilling straight out of your head and the anger at yourself for not being able to express something (which fits with the subject matter). It could have gone over the top into cliche quite easily but you managed to avoid that.

Rob

SundaysChild | January 21, 2011 - 04:13

Perfect

Sooz006 | January 21, 2011 - 10:19

Wow this was cherried ... didn't expect that. Thanks eds and comments. I had rhyme in mind for this but as I wrote it it came across to me as insincere and more about the poem than the words. I got annoyed and decided to scrap it, then it finished itself.

Seeker | January 21, 2011 - 17:43

I'm not surprised at the cherry. This a powerful piece. War and suffering are served up to us, nowadays, in small, safe chunks of faraway business; you turn the page or change channel, and they're gone. Your poem is angry, rightly so, at the collective head turning which we all (sometimes unconsciously) take part in.
The last sentences are like a prosecutor's summing up-looking around, waiting to see if the guilty will dare show themselves.

Very impressive.

Seeker

Sooz006 | January 21, 2011 - 22:25

Thank you, Seeker. As you know I am a fan of the way you write so well chuffed with your comment, ta.

Sooz006 | January 21, 2011 - 22:25

Thank you, Seeker. As you know I am a fan of the way you write so well chuffed with your comment, ta.