my heart overflows with guilt
having been stoned before, its sails
i have become as man pieces,
what it means to be whole,
needle my wounds
patterned the work of the stars.
i am such a hyprocrite, hating
as i have been hated, and in that hate
i muddle and muddy
in the sexual dirt, like a scum...
cleanse me, make me genuinely radiant...
my spirit dies.
in the silence are words of hate and words of discontent
that I have lost the absolute in you
and lost you
no matter how I try to love
i end up pretending, lord
let me find you and know you
hear your voice and delight in you
and burn in you and love you
so my spirit may be reborn.
where am I, lost in a sea of messages,
bottled meanings and cultural wars,
where am I in this place
where i am tossed from here to there.