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I remember

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Published by threeleafshamrock on October 9, 2009 - 00:18
from the ABC set shamrock's ramblings

I remember how you used to come to my room
when the tempest was at its height
and the house groaned with fearful incantations.

I remember your hand, gently brushing the panic
from my brow, cooling my blood
and flushing the dark corners with light.

I remember wondering, what kind of being is this,
who shows no consternation and
can smile in the face of such awesome power?

I remember thinking; promising that I would
always feel safe within the arc of
your strength, as a ship to the lighthouse beam.

I remember this, as I stroke the brow above
two frightened eyes that examine mine,
searching for the strength, as I once did.

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Comments

lenchenelf | October 9, 2009 - 00:52

A lovely piece Chris, minor suggestion, feel free to blow raspberries at me, but would 'Flushing' work in place of 'poisoning' in the 2nd stanza?
(now scurries off, dodging the flying slipper) atb Lenax

Bradene | October 9, 2009 - 10:44

This is a lovely poem Chris. much enjoyed and identified with. Val x

threeleafshamrock | October 9, 2009 - 10:52

Thanks Lena and your suggestion is a good one; would you believe that I actually had flushing in there at one stage. I wanted to give the impression of killing the dark; wiping it out. Looking at it, 'poisoning' it doesn't really do it for me either; to slow. I will change it and may well use flushing again.

Have no fear of pointing these things out to me. That is the reason I put stuff up here and sharing ideas is what makes us all better at this writing game; very much appreciate you taking the time to actually do it. In fact the more I look at it, the more it stands out like a pig in a synagogue.

Cheers ;) XXX

Silver Spun Sand | October 9, 2009 - 11:56

I too could identify with this, Chris. A lovely poem.

Tina xx

threeleafshamrock | October 9, 2009 - 12:31

Thank you Tina ;)XXX

sarah wilson | October 9, 2009 - 20:05

Beautiful I think xx

threeleafshamrock | October 9, 2009 - 20:56

Thanks Sarah ;)XXX

Nathan Bednarek | October 10, 2009 - 00:26

A wonderful poem and 'flushing' works really well ;-)

Well done.

Nathan.

MistakenMagic | October 10, 2009 - 11:15

Aaawwwwww Chris you little softie ;) Wonderful poem, I'm sure you're a great dad!

Magic xxx

threeleafshamrock | October 10, 2009 - 12:21

Thanks Nathan, I agree ;)

threeleafshamrock | October 10, 2009 - 12:22

Thanks Magic and of course I am lol

Any hangover? ;) XXXX