Histoire de Daniel

Spent the whole day
in the loft
of my Mother’s house
boxing stuff
bagging stuff
moving stuff out of the way of
stuff
then stuffing it in with more
things

What does it all mean?

Proof that I lived I guess
I was there
I went to that school
played with that toy
had that poster
on that wall
idolised that band
fantasised over that girl

I came across things I hadn’t seen
or touched
for twenty years
someone gave the item to me
I kept it
looked at it
it got put away
and then twenty years later
today
I threw it out
or
dropped it at the charity shop

What was the point of that?

A materialistic sickness
obsessive hoarding
weakness

Now I sit in the car
a box of old porn on my lap
‘Ye Olde Secret Stash’
I thought it wrong
to send it out
with no ceremony
so I’ll take it home
look through it with the girlfriend
see
if we can analyse the damage
I surrounded myself with
when I was thirteen

Maybe if we burn it
we’ll see
a smoke vision
effigy
of me
doubled up
humping my fist

but
probably not

it will just be more
burnt black mush
for the landfill